Dawn Taylor| 01/01/2024

Transcript

Dawn Taylor

Hey, hey, hey. It's me. Dawn Taylor, your host. And today we have a different episode for you. So, you guys get to hear me be interviewed today. Except for this one is planned. This one's a little bit more planned, but we really wanted to put this episode out for you guys, so I hope you enjoy it. And welcome to the show as the host, Miss Jenny Rice.

Jenny Ryce

Thank you so much, Don, for having me. And it's always fun to be on the other side of the mic. I love doing the interviewing, to be honest. It's my favorite part. So, thank you for asking me to take this role on and hijack again the Taylor Way talks. Really appreciate it. 

Dawn Taylor

You're welcome. So take it from here Miss Host. 

Jenny Ryce

So, we're rolling into a new year a whole new year. We, you know, you hear the terms new year new, new you. 

Dawn Taylor

I may have thrown up a little.

Jenny Ryce

“Did I actually vomit in my mouth?” 

Dawn Taylor

I may have. I may need a break right now. I need to stop this. 

Jenny Ryce

So what I wanted to talk about, because you and I have had lots of conversations outside of obviously this recording about, you know, what does next year look like? And the biggest thing that we touch on is we kind of need to close out the current year, you know, what does that look like? So when you're rolling into a new year, you're at the back end of, you know, the year you're in. What are some things that you do to set yourself up for the next year? 

Dawn Taylor

So, a couple of things and I'm going to start right on December 1st. So one of the things I do on December 1st is I sit down and look at my calendar for the month, and I really determine, like, what is it that I need out of this month? So this month, because I'm taking some time off in January. I was like, no, no, no, I'm working like I am working hard and I'm just going to, like, plow through these three weeks knowing I have time off at Christmas. Well, that was different this year because I know things are happening in January, right? Some years it's like, no, I really, really need to breathe a little bit more this month. And for me, it's often how - do I end my year? Do I want to end it like a freight train speeding through a city? Do I want to end it gracefully? Do I want to end it with excitement, with passion, with fun? Do I just need it to be really calm and quiet? And a lot of that is based on what the previous 11 months have been. Right? And so with that, one of the other things that I look at is like, do I want to work on my Fridays? Do I want to work Friday nights? Where can I add in this gift of time for myself throughout the month so that I can go and do things? Some years I just want to drive around and look at Christmas lights a few nights a week. Other years I want to go to concerts or shows or plays or things. So, I'm really big on setting an intention for my December. I think it's so easy to get caught up in the mayhem of it. It's so easy to get caught up in, like visiting and menus and feeding and parties and doing all the things that have to do them all perfectly, and watch all the hallmark movies and bake the cookies. Right? Like, there's such an intensity this month that  I actively work to, like, take away the intensity. That is one of the first things that I do. The second thing that I do is I look over my year and think, okay, what worked about this year? What was amazing about this year? What sucked about this year and what could I change in the new year? To make it a little bit better. So I find that waiting until January 1st, second, third, fourth. 

The new year comes in just as fast. As September seems to every year. Right? It's never gentle. It's always like I go because everyone's been somewhat shut down over Christmas. A lot of people have slowed down in December. They're not doing meetings as much or networking as much or working as much. And no, January hits and everyone hits the ground running and it's mayhem. So, I try to look at this stuff at the beginning of December or like mid-December, and I just block time on my calendar to do it, to really look at like, okay, what all went down this year? So, how do I do this? One of them is I actually go day by day through my calendar. And I like to do this either, like, middle of the month or I'll do it depending on if I have a house full of company. Like this year, I'm scheduling this on the 31st because I have no people in my house and I will have had a few days off. So, on the 31st in the morning, I go down to my office and I sit with my calendar and I have a piece of paper beside me and it's like, dos, don't, change. And or whatever words you want to use. And what that is, is like, hey, that that is something I did last year there was amazing. Maybe it was, go for coffee with that person. Maybe it was that networking group. Maybe it was that training that I did. It doesn't matter what it was, but it's like I need to do more of that next year. That was something that was amazing and valuable for me. The don'ts are like, are you for real? Did you actually do that thing again? It's the lesson that we're learning in it. And maybe it's launched. The thing that ended up sucking. Maybe it's going to business with somebody and you're like, why did I go into business? I mean, I don't like going into business with someone, and this isn't something I've done, okay? If my business partner is listening. No, that's not you. But like, it's really about looking at it and going. What has been amazing. What hasn't. Right? You know that networking group that you go to when you're like, that sucked. Like, why did I do that? Why did I go to that thing? But then you catch yourself a few months later, someone invites you and you're like, yeah, okay, go again. And then you walk out of it again, going, seriously, how many times do I have to waste my money on this before this is actually too much, right? Honestly, I can tell you right now, one of mine this year, there's a few different things like that that are going to be involved. But one of them is like the level of travel I did this year for work. That needs to shift, right? And yes and no. It has been amazing and I've loved every second of it. But I also burned myself out doing it because really, I was trying to fit a year's worth of work into six months. 

Jenny Ryce

Mhm. 

Dawn Taylor

Right. So in the new year, what do I want to do different? What do I want to shift in that way. And that's where I look at it and go, oh, you know what? There was not enough of that activity in my calendar. There wasn't enough of that activity in my calendar because I put everything in it. Even friend dates, breakfast dates, all of those things. I can see that. So, a couple of years ago. When I was doing this, I realized that I didn't get enough friend time. And because I'm an introvert. Because I feel everyone feels because I have, you know, maybe a lower capacity for people than some people do. And especially with the thyroid stuff. Right? I realized that I was like, man, it'll go months between seeing people. And I'm not okay with that. So, one of my intentional behavior shifts I did that year was I picked five people that I contacted and said, “Hey, I want a regular set time with you every month or every other month.” Can we put it in our calendars, first week of January? Like, can we just book this in? 

Jenny Ryce

And I can actually contest because I was one of those people. 

Dawn Taylor

You were. It's true, 

Jenny Ryce

I remember. I remember you reaching out and saying. And I'm like, yes, yes, we can do that.

Dawn Taylor

Right? 

Jenny Ryce

And we just always work together. Just for the record. 

Dawn Taylor

Like, you know, it's only been like a year, right? So like in our friendship years. Right. Like that was something that I was very intentional about. And I would challenge anyone listening to this to do that. I have built the coolest relationships with people, and there has been way more connection that's happened because it's intentional, because we set that lunch every single month or every two months. We set the coffee, we set the half hour zoom, we set whatever it is, and it just becomes a regularity in our calendar. And now a couple years into this, some of them, it's like, “Oh, I can't this week or no, I can't or and it's not a big deal.” It's not a big deal because you know, you have another one booked, but you're also now not having to be like, oh shoot, it's been three months, four months, six months, eight months since I've seen this person I really, genuinely like and love this person and I want to spend more time with them. And so, that was one of the things that I shifted. That has been one of the best decisions I ever made. And I am thinking now of like, who do I want to fill those spots next year? Who do I want to fill those spots and build deeper relationship with? Right.  So that is one of the things that I do. Another thing that I do is I look at all of my wins of the year. Write all of the wins, and it doesn't matter if it was just like I got through a whole week without having to cancel any sessions because I was feeling so sick, or I got through like I actually went to every chiro appointment. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what it is. Or like I hit my financial goal with my company or I, you know, I did something really, really cool. I crossed an item off my bucket list. I look at that massive list of wins and I give it a number, I give it a weight. And so maybe it's like, wow, I got I did like a 92% this year. Like I crushed it in this area. Guess what? I do the same with my failures. I do the same with the things that I've bombed on, and do the same with the things that I sucked at. Right? And I look at those and I'm like, okay, as long as the wins number is higher than the losses number, I'm really, really proud of myself and happy. But then with that, that is something that I'm as I'm going through that list, right. If it's like, oh, you did 72 consultations and got four clients, what are you doing wrong in these consultations or whatever, the numbers are, right. That actually gives you your patterns. It gives you your shifts and behavior. I'm like, oh, that's something I need to look at. That's something that I need to do different. And for anyone who doesn't have a business, this is no different in your personal life. It's like, what do you need to shift in some of those areas? And then another thing that I do is I go through all of my photos. I scroll on the 31st of every year. I've done this for as long as I can remember. I go all the way back to the beginning of January the previous year, and I scroll every single photo. It gives me an amazing opportunity to delete all the screenshots of the things that I think I'm going to do that I'm never going to do, because who doesn't have a thousand of those? Oh, I'm going to make that recipe. Oh, I'm going to go to that concert. Oh, I'm going to Google this later. Yeah. No we don't, we really don't. So that gives me an opportunity either to be like, yeah, okay, I need to save this one or no, I need to actually like run for my life and just delete  these. But it also shows me that in the mayhem and the chaos of the year and everything that's been going down, but it shows me all of the highs. It shows me the adventures that shows me the amazing meals that I ate. It shows me the laughter with the kids that I hung out with, with my nieces and nephews. We forget. We are so quick to forget every single thing that happened throughout our year. And because we are on our cell phones, we actually can, like we could go back and look because we snap photos of everything these days. Right? And it's always entertaining. I often will bring my husband in on it, or I'll like, shoot a text to somebody and be like, oh my God, do you remember doing this thing? And it shows you all of these amazing moments. All of these amazing moments that happen through the year. And honestly, it's one of my favorite things that I do all Christmas Break, is one of my highlights. 

Jenny Ryce

I love that. So for those of us listening, the value in reflection is so important. And I think actually that's our, you know, our biggest topic on the blog posts that you've written this month for December is reflection. And taking the time, honoring yourself and taking the time to review that. So. What I loved is you talked about dos, don'ts and, you know, need more ofs and all those kind of things. But one word that hasn't popped up yet is shoulds. Can we dig into the shoulds? Because, you know, shoulds can be absolutely detrimental to your well-being. 

Dawn Taylor

Mhm. 

Jenny Ryce

And I love your take on it. 

Dawn Taylor

For sure. So. Honestly, a lot of the should show up in that don't do this again column. It's the shoulds that show up in the failures. It's the should the show up in the. I can't believe I wasted money on that or I spent money on that, or I put that much time and energy into that, or I launched that thing or whatever it is. I visited those people again. I had that coffee date that I shouldn't have had. Right? It's that's where the shoulds really show up. So when I'm looking at those and I mean this is something that I've, I'd like to say that I've gotten really good at over the years. And, I mean, I still have my moments where I suck at this and I, I say yes.

Jenny Ryce

Oh my gosh, Dawn, are you human? 

Dawn Taylor

What? No, no! I have really, really hit this point where I trust my gut and if I'm like, what am I doing? Like, why am I doing this? One of the first questions I ask is like, should I be doing this? Is this somebody else's expectation of me? Or is this my expectation of myself?And if it is my expectation of myself, is it a good expectation of myself? Is it a positive expectation of myself? Is it created from a place that I'm okay with having this expectation? Right? I should visit people everywhere I go. I don't. I don't. I'm going to just put that out there. I will travel to cities and never call a person that I know in the city. And it's not because I don't love that person. It's not any of that. It's knowing why I'm there, my intention behind why I'm there. And do I have the capacity to see people? And often I don't. Some people I totally do. Some times I totally do based on what my schedule is, but I have given myself permission to just not. Right? I should show up at a lot of different events that I don't show up at. I should support friends with lunches and with things that they're doing in events that they're hosting, and all of those things. But one thing I've realized is that I should. Yes, yes, I should. But I also could phone that person. I could share their content. I could share that event with other people. I know there's 100 other ways I could support them. Knowing that if I show up to that event with no capacity, knowing if I show up to that event burnt out, knowing that I'm actually not going to, it's not going to benefit anyone. 

Jenny Ryce

When you think about your journey to honoring this should. Because when we think about that word, it's it's like you're obligated, like you're putting an obligation with that word, like you should do this and you say, now it's easier, which I admire because I'm fortunately moving into that place in my life to where I'm very aware of my shoulds. What are some beginning steps that you would recommend for people that are still literally shooting themselves into exhaustion or shooting themselves into? And you know what that sounds like when I say it fast, like shooting those selves into, you know, commitments that they don't want to be a part of and all those kind of things. What was your foundation, your starting point to kind of move into a new habit around that.

Dawn Taylor

So, one thing I did, and this is very much the logistical piece of my brain, is I sat down and looked at like business work, like business life. Right? Client life, which is very different in my brain because there's the working in my business and the working on my business, which are two very different things. And then my personal life. And then I kind of broke that even down into categories of like family, friends, home. And health. That's always one of my health. Always is on my list. Right? And then how I looked at it, at how I started looking at it. So, from like a business standpoint will say is clients. Should I open up a Saturday? Because that's the only time that a client might be able to come and see me. Yeah, I probably should, because that would be good and blah blah  blah blah blah, right? Will it be beneficial to my client when I burn out because I've been working Saturdays, will I be able to actually show up at as 100% in that moment? No. So, now am I actually serving the client, or am I going to cause more problems down the road because I did a session when I shouldn't have? Right? I had that situation this fall where  I, almost in a bullying way, had someone bully me to coach when I was really sick. And then it turned out really bad for everybody, myself and them. And it ended up being kind of vicious. And it was really horrible. And I knew better. Like. And I said to you, like, I 100% knew better. I should not coach when I'm sick. So what the hell was I thinking? Right? New rule moving forward. Zero work when I'm sick, right? But with that, it's it's setting those boundaries and rules for yourself and looking at - no, no, no. Why did I set this rule for myself in the first place?  What was my intention behind it? It's not. To harm someone is to protect myself so that I can do what I want to do. Right. The million networking events? Is this actually going to benefit my business? Is this something that's going to benefit it? Do I love the relationships and the friendships in there? Yes. But if somebody is actually my friend or there is a relationship there, they should be being bumped into my friend column that I'm spending time with in a different way. Right? Or is it just showing up in that room constantly because it's like, oh, hey, visibility, visibility, visibility. Right? And desiring that. Because at some point you have to acknowledge to yourself that these are business acquaintances and business friends. It doesn't mean they're your friend friends. And yes, they can cross over. But really looking at like, what is it I need out of this networking event? If I'm going to go, that's a problem. If I'm going because there's referral partners in the room because there's an ROI on this event, then it makes sense to go. Right? And acknowledging that just because you say no, it's not you rejecting those people, it's not you rejecting the event. It's not you rejecting those friends. It's saying to yourself, like, this does not make sense in my business right now. And as a fellow business owner, somebody else should be able to understand that potentially, right? If they have that business sense or they have the emotional intelligence or they have what it takes to be like, no, I totally get it. I understand why you only show up once a month instead of twice a month or no, that makes sense. We can't do lunch every single week as entrepreneur business owners, because you need the time to do other stuff in your business, right? So, that is a big piece of it. Then when it comes to the personal side of it. A lot of it. And maybe these are just like big boundaries of set up over in the past. But, I was raised in a house where every single time we went on vacation, it was with family. Every holiday included traveling to family. And nobody was happy about it. It was like, yay! We get to play and have fun! But then we also listened to our parents bitch about it for the entire four day drive home. And we would, like drive across Canada and listen to this. And it became a thing with my husband or myself that were like, no, every other time. And we started with like every three times or every four times that we're going to do something or we have a long weekend or we get to have a break, we're going to not go visit them. We're not. We're just not going to go visit family on those weekends, and that's okay. Right? Because we are a family too. And that's allowed. Right? That's allowed. We were talking last night. We host every single Christmas is at our house 

and we love it. It's gotten to the point where we absolutely love it. So we hosted my family one year, his family one year. And now that there's adult nieces and nephews, they want to come every year. So we're working that into things and around things and. And I asked him this morning, literally over coffee, I said, do you think there will come a time when you and I decide that we want to, like, start our own Christmas tradition? Of something we do. And he's like, what would that even look like? And I said, I don't know, but not having kids, right? Because we couldn't I was like, what if we started where it was like, everybody can come up to the 30th, but on the 30th, every year we hop a plane and disappear for a few days and maybe we like, go on a cruise, maybe we go to the mountains, maybe we go explore somewhere. Maybe we go to an all inclusive whatever that would look like, and we start our own tradition. And it was a very interesting conversation to have because that was part of it was like, but, you know, everyone comes to our house like, we should be here longer. And. And I was like, no, by putting in a healthy boundary, a healthy plan for us. That's not us rejecting someone else. It's just putting a parameter on it. It's just shifting it a little bit to make it so that all of us are happy. And that's okay. Like that's actually 100% okay. So I would start there. I would start with people that are like close to you that, you kniow, love you. And say, your friends having a Mary Kay party. Say your friend is having a temperature party. So your friend is hosting some party at their house for something. And you're like, man, I just can't, like, I know I should go to this, but I actually just can't this week. Phone them and go, hey! I love you, but I can't. If you have the budget for it, you can be like, I'll order something anyways to help with your party or I'll do something like that. But you know what? I just can't this week and start there. Start with save people. When people cancel on me, I'm always like, Rock on, well done. And people laugh. They're like, you're the easiest person to bail on. And I'm like, yes, because I fully understand that and I understand the need for that and the, like. You are holding a healthy boundary for yourself and you are protecting your mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, financial, relational health. How would I like I could never get mad at you for that. Like way to go. And like I am the first person to be like, yes, way to go! So if you need to practice, cancel on me, right. Book something and cancel it. We can do this. But start there. Start with those things. The things. Or if it's like a group or a thing that you're like, I genuinely hate this. Like this makes me angry. This stresses me out. This causes me problems. That was a really easy one to bail on. And you know what? One of our like, little I probably shouldn't put this out there, but I'm going to. One of our little things is I have a friend and a husband that allow me to blame everything on them. 

Jenny Ryce

Yes. 

Dawn Taylor

There are times when I'm like, Chad, I need you to tell me that I am not allowed to do this thing. And he will literally look at me and go, you are not allowed to do this thing. And I go, thank you. 

Jenny Ryce

We sometimes need that permission, right? 

Dawn Taylor

I've actually fully jokingly written permission slips for clients before. 

Jenny Ryce

I love it. 

Dawn Taylor

And they're like, it's like I. Dawn Taylor hereby grant you permission to not, whatever it is. 

Jenny Ryce

Whatever it is, whatever it is you feel obligated to. 

Dawn Taylor

Because sometimes we need that. Right? So I, I will I will full on use the blame card if I need to. 

Jenny Ryce

So when we think about, you know, that should word really. There's so much, um, compromise. Set up into that word. So when we think about what you're sharing and what's really valuable and what's highlighting for me is who are you saying yes to and who are you saying no to, and becoming very clear on what's more important, because you say yes to everything. You're saying no to something. 

Dawn Taylor

Totally. And by choosing yourself, you're not rejecting someone else. And I want you to hear it. Like I've said it before, I'm gonna say it again. Like I love you, but I love me more. Does not mean you're selfish. It does not mean you're evil. It does not mean you're a bad person. It does not mean any of those things. It's actually giving yourself permission to choose yourself sometimes. 

Jenny Ryce

Absolutely. So let's let's play with a fun word. So we did the should word do it. Hey can we say resolution. 

Dawn Taylor

Oh fuck. Sorry if your kids are listening

Jenny Ryce 

Talk to me. What's your what's your philosophy, belief system, thoughts? I mean, you did drop the f-bomb so I have a pretty good idea of where this is going to roll. Let's talk about new year's resolutions.

Dawn Taylor

A lot of people need the new year, new me mentality because it's like a starting off point. It's a jumping off point and it's like, okay, this is the thing I'm going to do. Cool. Go for it. If that is what you need to make a shift in your behavior. Go for it. To make a resolution. Number one. The majority of our habits were formed out of a protection mechanism. Positive or negative. They were formed out of a protection mechanism. They were formed for a reason. So to just massively shift your habits and your behaviours overnight, not going to happen. It's not going to happen. So people will decide. I mean, anyone who's ever worked in a gym knows that this is a thing. People will decide they're going to go from zero to here overnight. I'm going to go from never cooking to cooking three meals a day, seven days a week, overnight. I'm going to all of a sudden start going to the gym five times a week or seven times a week. I'm all of a sudden going to quit all of these behaviors that I have been doing for as long as I can remember. Bullshit. It doesn't work that way. There's a very small percentage of people that can actually make a decision and shift their entire behaviors overnight.

Jenny Ryce

Mhm. Agreed.

Dawn Taylor 

Very tiny percentage of people like probably like a 3% kind of number. Like it's very, very hard to find these unicorns that can actually make change in that way. If you can. Kudos to you. I can when it comes to food, when it comes to anything around like food, eating very like there's a lot of categories in my life. I can actually do that, but there's some that I can't. And when I look at why it's so hard for me to make that shift or what the struggle is, it's always because of a protection mechanism. Always, at some point in my life, the habit that's already there, the behavior that's already there, saved me, protected me, made me feel like I was in control or made me feel safe. So we set all these New Year's resolutions and then we fail. And then we feel like crap because we failed so hard. So here's a few things that I love around New Year's. What is one behavior shift I could make this year? And some years I'll do like one a month where it's like, okay, what is a behavior shift I could do? Maybe it's before I'm allowed to have a second cup of coffee. I have to drink three cups of tea and a water. It doesn't matter what it is like. It could be something super simple. One of my own here is like. Phone someone instead of responding with a text. Which I know drives people crazy, but you'd be amazed how many people actually love the connection of a voice. Right?  Sometimes it's like one year, one month. I was like, I'm going to start fueling up my car every Sunday. So that I don't feel stressed out. Middle of the week when I'm out of gas and I'm running to a meeting and I don't have time to stop and fuel up.  Do you see these? Like little tiny, tiny micro shifts? You could choose one a month all year and completely shift your entire world over the course of a year. But then I also choose New Year's resolutions that are really easy to accomplish, and then I celebrate the hell out of them every year that I won. So I am now eight years strong, having not done heroin.

Jenny Ryce

Way to go! 

Dawn Taylor

I know, I know, my New Year's resolution every year is to not do heroin. 

Jenny Ryce

Well done. 

Dawn Taylor

Heroin free since 1993 or whatever. Joke about it. And I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's like this is the year. This is the year. I'm not going to do it right, and then I win. This is the year I'm not going to kill anyone. Right. My New Year's resolution is to wake up every single day. And you know what? I have succeeded 100% of the time. 

Jenny Ryce

And when you don't succeed, the question is, will you even know? 

Dawn Taylor

No. Right. So I will set these ridiculous New Year's resolutions. To make myself laugh. So that in like February when people start talking about like, so do you succeed on any of your New Year's resolutions this year? I'll be like, yeah, killing it on all of them. And people will look at me and be like, seriously? And I'm like, oh yeah, rocking it. Right. Sometimes people will then ask me like, what are your New Year's resolutions? And I'll tell them and they're like, oh, for real, but I think that we need to give ourselves way more grace. Um, I think, again, we need to look at, like, why are we setting this New Year's resolution? Like, what is it? What is the importance of it? Because let's be really honest, when we want something, we make it happen. When we want something, yeah, we get it.

Right. If you really want those concert tickets, you will find a way. Like we will do everything in our power to make something happen. So if we're not ever managing to meet our goals for a year, if we're not managing to meet our infamous resolutions. Do we not have an emotional attachment to it? Does it actually hold no value to us? Do we not think it's important enough? Because 

I'm going to bet it's more of that than anything. 

Jenny Ryce

So when you think about, you know, you were sharing, which I really valued too, is, you know, there's a deeper rooted reason why we're doing things that we want to shift in our lives, because at some point they were super valuable. They held a purpose and a meaning or like you say, protection. So if you if you are trying to shift something that's so deep rooted, do you have some suggestions on how people can move into positive action? 

Dawn Taylor

So, one thing is looking at where did it start? Right? What is the earliest time in your life that you remember that action or that behavior? And I know it's like a Tony Robbins statement, but it's like when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of the change. And it's really allowing yourself to look at that. We underestimate how damaging some of our actions and behaviors are. 8 or 9 years ago it's been a long time. I really should figure out the date. 8 or 9 years ago. I was super, super sick  with fibro and my muscles were seizing. I was writhing on a couch all day. I was still somehow managing to work part time,  and I remember begging my husband and tears like sobbing and begging him to put a pillow over my face and kill me.  Because I was in such excruciating pain. And I didn't know what to do with it. I had no idea what to do with it. This was about, yeah, this is about 2015. And he sat there with me and he's like, Dawn, this isn't living. And I said, no one, I don't know how to function in this level of pain all day, every day. And he read a book. And it was talking about, like, all these dietary shifts and all these things. And he said to me, he's like, would you be willing? Because a friend had told me about it, but I couldn't even like, I was like, I can't even comprehend how to start. Like I need someone else to read the book and give me the cold notes. So he did. He audio, listened to this book, gave me the cold notes, and he's like, are you willing to make a massive shift in your diet? And I said,  whatever, whatever. I went sugar, gluten, dairy, alcohol free overnight, literally overnight. And it was.  And I think, no, we added the bulletproof coffee in, but so it was like a totally different way of drinking coffee. There were like  three meats, five veggies, and that was about it. And high fat, like, it was the most intense dietary shift ever. And very, very hard to shift that hard to. And people were like, how the heck did you pull that off overnight? Not only did I pull it off overnight, but I held it for six months without a single cheat. Like not even a slight nibble. Sniff. Nothing. Cheat. And I'm talking like I hosted Christmas with 15 people at my house and did baking and turkey and all those things, and then made my own food on the side. Like I held firm to this, and people often asked how. And I said, it goes back to the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of the change. Right? And so even now, I can eat some dairy and I'm fine. It just makes me feel kind of gummy and gross sometimes, and it just doesn't sit super well. I can eat gluten if I really want to. It's not going to kill me or even harm me, but what it does is it makes me feel like I drank a bottle of NyQuil. So, I wanted to try sourdough because I've been doing all this research on how flowers work in your body and everyone's like, oh, if you have a gluten intolerance or allergy, like try sourdough because of how it's made and blah blah blah. I'm with all these flowers,  so I tried it on the weekend. I just had two nights where I didn't sleep well. I had two days where I was weirdly gassy. TMI. But let's be honest, that's what was going on. I had two days where I just kind of hurt, like my inflammation level had gone way up from it. So my little aches and pains, right? Definitely reared their ugly head. Was it a big deal? No. Could I eat flour today? Yeah. But guess who started there Monday really freaking tired because I haven't slept properly for two days. Right? So when we allow ourselves, my husband has a statement called follow it through to its natural  conclusion, he uses it all the time with his guys who work in critical thinking and then training. And I think when we if we were to allow ourselves to actually look at the decisions we're making today and be brutally honest and follow it through to its natural conclusion. What would that look like? If I make this decision now, it's not bad. It's not horrible, it's not super damaging. But what is it going to cause? What will that look like in a week and a month? In a year? Six years? Ten years? Right. How does that play itself out? And I think we need to do a whole lot more of that to be like, okay, where did this originally start? Where is this coming from? Why do I want to make this change? What about this change is important? But if I don't make this change, what does that look like for my life? 

Jenny Ryce

Exactly. 

Dawn Taylor

I can sit in a room of people and they can all be eating stuff around me. I can bake for them, I can cook for them, and I don't eat it. And I was at an event about a month ago, and they came around for the dessert order, and my friend was there and she just whispered what dessert she wanted. Knowing full well I would just order it and then I'd pass it over to her because it was part of the meal. And other people around me almost had this, like, weird, like guilt and pity of like, oh my gosh, this has to be so hard for you. Maybe we shouldn't be eating dessert. And I was like, no, I'm so okay. How  is it? Is it amazing? Like, I get so excited on other people's behalf. I'm like, oh, is is it, is it really good? Not because I don't think it's amazing or it's tasty or it's good. It's I just don't want it because my brain doesn't go to today, my brain goes to, how am I going to feel in two days, four days, six days, eight days if I'm not sleeping well now, what happens if I am losing a little bit of sleep every night? Am I going to have energy? Am I going to burn out? Am I going to get sick? Am I going to be able to show up in the way I want to for people in my life,  what does that look like in a larger scale? And that is what allows me to be so solid in the decisions that I make. 

Jenny Ryce

You know, and it's really profound because, um, you and I actually ended up not for the same reasons, but I did a massive over the night food, no alcohol shift, and I was in the same boat for I didn't start introducing things that were not good for my body for about 8 or 9 years. And rigid. And what I found was fascinating. And so I share this for for the listeners out there, because Dawn expresses as well, it's uncomfortable for other people when you make choices about your health because they are looking in their own mirror. And especially around if you've ever decided to quit alcohol. Drinking alcohol. And it's interesting when you're an alcoholic and you don't drink, people have an understanding. They can grasp that, right? They can support that and get behind that. But when you quit drinking just because you don't want to drink anymore, it's uncomfortable for people. It's extremely uncomfortable. I mean, I remember people like, oh, well, let's try this. I'm sure you can have this. Or and I'm like, no, I'm good. I'm not, you know, like literally I'm not drinking alcohol anymore. I'm choosing my health over alcohol and it's been fascinating. I probably, I can't even, I think I haven't had a drink in almost 13 years, but that's not true. I've had one sip of alcohol and because the waitress gave me the wrong drink one day and I took a hot swig of soda water and I looked at my husband, I'm like, I'm pretty sure that's your vodka. I was like, oh. Um, but other than that, intentionally, I have not had, you know, anything to drink. So I've had a sip of alcohol, of course, you know. Um, and the reason I share that is my uncomfort level to move me into that action, like you said, was greater than the change. Life is hard. You know, people say, who's your friend? It's hard to be healthy. It's hard to be unhealthy. What's hard? Right? If you're a smoker, it's hard to smoke because you got to get smoke breaks. You got to spend all the money on your cigarettes, all those things. You got to keep yourself clean. All of that. When you quit smoking, it's hard. But you're not in the hospital. The struggle is there, but it's like you are picking your health. It's all hard. So choose your hard. Choose your hard.

Dawn Taylor

Well, and it's so. It's always been very interesting to me. How much judgment there is on the health choices I've made, but also like the work choices I've made and all of those things. And I mean judgment on all of it. I have relatives literally mock me for how I eat or mock me for how organized my house is, like it's it's constant. It's just this constant hilarious mockery, judgment, and especially the alcohol, especially the healthy eating, especially some of those things. And I always have to stop myself and be like, it's very sad to me. That they feel that threatened by me not engaging in their decision for themselves. 

Jenny Ryce

Misery loves company is a term for reason, I know, 

Dawn Taylor

but it's also like by me choosing this, I'm not saying I disagree with your decisions. I'm not like it isn't about that. It's actually me just saying no, that doesn't work for my body. So I'm going to do what my body needs. Yeah, and I wonder what life would look like if more of us did that, if more of us, instead of succumbing to the peer pressure of everybody around us instead of choosing what everybody else is doing because that makes us happier, that makes us comfortable, or that makes us whatever. Our house is really funny right now because I am eating my normal whatever way. And my husband is eating carnivore. So  we are eating completely different. Neither of us cares. Neither of us is judging the other person. Neither of us is saying anything. We're just like, whatever. This is what works for both of us. Like I tried carnivore for six weeks. Felt like death. He feels amazing. We are so out of touch with ourselves and our needs and our wants and our desires and honestly like people get out of your heart and into your head. Stop buying into this bullshit story of like, just be heart-centered and follow your heart and listen to your heart, and your heart will guide you. You know, our hearts are really fickle. And they get us into a lot of trouble. And one of those is our heart doesn't want to be hurt, and it doesn't want to be rejected, and it just wants to be loved and all those things. That's beautiful. But then that's what causes us to also eat something we shouldn't to connect to someone or it's, you know, drink something that we know is not good for us because we don't want to say no one rejects somebody. Right? And the more you can really figure out who you are, what you are, what you desire for yourself, and really what you want is your blueprint for your life, the easier all of those decisions are. And what's even more amazing is how when you make those decisions. Yes, you're going to have people to walk away. You're going to have people that are irritated or frustrated or pissed off with just judgey pants. But you also, in turn are giving everybody else permission to do the same. I had a friend say to me last week, he was like, he's like, man, he's like, you're like the best friend. And I was like, oh, a lot. We disagree with that. And he laughed and he goes, no. He's like, I love that you hold so firm to your boundaries. You know who you are. You know what you are. He's like. But you also like get busy and disappear for six weeks at a time. And I know you still love me and I know you're still there. And the minute I call you, you're like, it's like right there again. Like you're right back to just you. And he's like, I love that about you. He's like, you're one of the few people in my life that I don't ever have to question when it comes to that. 

Jenny Ryce

Authenticity. 

Dawn Taylor

Right? So be authentic. Throw the New Year's resolutions out. Figure out what it is you want out of this Christmas. If you don't want to do all the stupid Christmas shit, don't do it. Right. If you don't want to meet everyone's expectations, don't. I mean, I'm not saying intentionally hurt people or intentionally harm people. 

Jenny Ryce

No. Absolutely not. 

Dawn Taylor

It's not about that. It's not about that. 

Jenny Ryce

But it's also like, really, you can live authentically true and still be kind in your delivery to others. it's no, it's a one word sentence. 

Dawn Taylor

I was joking with a friend this week that next year I'm going to plan a Christmas party for solopreneurs. I love it, and it's going to be like our staff Christmas party, but then we're going to cancel it the day before. So that everybody has an evening off. 3.2s Just, just everyone gets like, everyone can stay in their room. Everyone just gets this gift of time. And it'll be like with your ticket, you got a free skip the dishes gift card or something. And it's like, just go, like, ordering your favorite or go pick up takeout or whatever it is you want to do, but just, like, say no. 

Jenny Ryce

Yeah. So, okay. I can't believe how fast time's going here. When we think about what we've talked about and we recap, you know, we've talked a lot about living in our truth and, and, you know, looking at the shoulds versus like standing in our own strength and, and choosing us. And we've talked about resolutions and we've talked about, you know, um, reviewing and reflecting. Last question before we end our episode today together. As you move into the New Year and quote unquote, the new you. Because let's be real, you will be a new person next year because you're going to be very different from who you are today. As your year progresses, what would be the advice you would give yourself stepping into the next year. 

Dawn Taylor

Stay in your lane. 

Jenny Ryce

Can you elaborate on what that means? 

Dawn Taylor

Stay in your lane. So if you want to focus on health. For the new you, right? Don't pay attention to what everybody else is doing. Figure out what works for you. If you want to shift what you're doing for work. You don't have to be a business owner. You don't have to start a business. Maybe you just want a new job. Maybe you just want a new career. Maybe you want structure. Maybe you own a business and you're like, you know what? I'm really sick of this. I think I just want a salary where I get paid Monday to Friday and I like, don't have to think about it. Stay in your lane. Focus on your story. Focus on your journey. Focus on who you are, what you are, or what you're wanting to do and what works for your family. So if you were a single person, you got your lane. If you are married, do you have another driver? Right? So, really sit down together and figure out, like, where do we want to go? Not based on what anybody else is doing. Because what's working for them does not mean it's going to work for you. 

And don't be afraid to have people very confused by you. It's actually kind of fun. 

Jenny Ryce

I think it's pretty profound when we think about the reality that anything worth doing usually is needs requires a little bit of work. There are no quick fixes out there. And I'm telling you guys right now, those of you that are listening, if someone's promising you a quick fix, they're on their agenda, not yours. Yeah, right. Like, it takes time. It takes work and it takes, you know, falling off the wagon and jumping back on. 

Dawn Taylor

Oh, come on, we've all read the front of the paper at the checkout line. You can lose £40 in ten days. 

Jenny Ryce

No, you just take a pill. It's super easy. 

Dawn Taylor

Come on. 

Jenny Ryce

Honestly, Dawn, thank you so much for letting me hijack the Taylor Way talks. It's been wonderful, as always, to connect with you in this way I love I mean, I'm blessed I get to have these deep conversations with you on a regular basis, so I appreciate you letting me do it today so we can record it and hopefully provide some inspiration. And some action planning. For those of you that are listening, and we appreciate all of you for being here and taking the time to connect in and listen. We know that the greatest gift that you have in your life is your time. So we appreciate you. Dawn, I'll pass it back to you. Thank you so much. 

Dawn Taylor

One last thing. If you don't want to set a single goal and just float next year, do it. 

Jenny Ryce

Amen. That is a goal, is it not? 

Dawn Taylor

Totally. If you want to do none of the things we talked about, 

Jenny Ryce

I'm going to do nothing. That's my goal. 

Dawn Taylor

Amazing. Do that. No. Thank you guys so much for being here and for being part of this podcast. And listening in the viewers means so much to me. We will be back again in two weeks. We have some amazing episodes here planned over the next few months that I'm really, really excited about, and possibly an interview with my husband and I on marriage and what it's like to be married to me. Yeah, that could be very entertaining because he doesn't hold anything back and we won't edit. If we can convince them to do it. But yeah. Thank you. Thank you for being here, for showing up all of the things. If you want to leave a rating and review, that would mean the world. You can subscribe anywhere where you listen to your podcast, and we can't wait to see you again in a couple of weeks. But as you all know, show notes located at the TheaylorWay.ca. If you want links to anything we talked about, talk to us later. 

Jenny Ryce

Dawn, I'm going to add one last thing. We talked about something today that we talked about digging in and. Looking at reflection and if people are trying to change habits, if you are listening right now and you have a habit you're desperately trying to change and you've tried and tried and tried. Please reach out to Dawn. She will take 30 minutes of her time to talk to you because if if you haven't been able to move forward, you might need some support. So, the link will be in the show notes. Dawn is amazing at what she does. Take 30 minutes. It could change your life forever. So thank you so much. 

Dawn Taylor

Thank you. Talk to some of you soon.