Dawn Taylor| 11/03/2024

Transcript

Dawn Taylor

I am your host, Dawn Taylor, and today I have the privilege and the honour of talking to you, Andrew Hovelston. If you don't know him, you need to. So who is Andrew? Before we get to our topic, Andrew is an actor. He is a passionate guy in art and business. He graduated from Guthrie Theater, magna cum laude with a BFA in acting. He also holds an MFA. I don't even know what that is, but we're going to ask, acting from NYU TIsch School of the Art graduate Acting program, which only accepts 1% of applicants. This guy is impressive. He has appeared on Broadway, film, television, and runs the top life coaching company for teens and young adults worldwide, Southwestern Student Coaching. He also has a passion for student education entrepreneurship. He lives with his wife and three young sons in Hell's Kitchen, NYC, which is New York. Manhattan, New York that they aptly named the Testosterone Factory. Because if you've ever been to New York, you know the apartments are not large. So, I cannot even imagine living in one with three kids. But today, guys, we're going to have a bit of a controversial topic today. So, I hope you listen to this all the way through and listen to it with an open heart, because I am incredibly excited about this. We're going to talk about how you're screwing up your kids. And how we as a society are screwing up our kids. So, Andrew, take it from here. Welcome to the show.

Andrew Hovelston

We should have a little disclaimer, along the bottom or, you know, that pops in here that says Andrew does have three kids himself. So, he is in the active process of screwing kids up with everyone else who's listening.

Dawn Taylor

And I don't have kids, so I really I guess I'm not allowed to have an opinion, but I work with the kids that are getting screwed up when they show up in my office as young adults. So, you and I had, we met through an event we were both at forever ago, and we've been having this amazing month of conversations. Talking about mental health and kids and youth and, you know, just life in general. Business owners, all things, just all the things. And one of the topics that came up when you're talking one day was how we're actually screwing up our kids. And we talked about how parents don't want to hear this. And I said, you know what, let's do a podcast on this. Let's talk about this. And also like in that give some tips, but also some like, hey, in this way we are. And I even say like we collectively as a society. We are screwing up kids. So talk to me about your thoughts on that. Oh, really quick before we start, what is the MFA? Is that a master's in fine arts? Oh, okay. Wow. Impressive.

Andrew Hovelston

It's, uh. I always lead with that in my bio because it gets the hook. And then we ended up not talking about acting at all. We end up, rightfully so, talking about the next generation and coaching kids. But it's a lot of shiny objects for, you know, people in social media, short attention span to go. I guess I'd better listen to this guy.

Dawn Taylor

Maybe because he actually has some letters.

Andrew Hovelston

It's some letters behind his name. Yeah,

Dawn Taylor

I love it. Well, Mr. Letters behind your name. Let's talk about how we're messing up our kids. So what we were just talking about prior to even hitting record is this toxic positivity that is going on in this world right now. And this complete bullshit idea on we should just all be following our hearts. Well let's, let's just go there. Let's just go there. What are your thoughts on this?

Andrew Hovelston

Yeah. I mean, my thoughts are. I have many, many thoughts. My overwhelming thesis and hypothesis are different. But my hypothesis on the grand experiment of life, which is parenting is you need to follow your heart when you can pay for it. That's it. Full stop. Follow your heart when you can pay for it, and when you can learn how to do it with great mental health.

Dawn Taylor

I'm not disagreeing at all.

Andrew Hovelston

One of the biggest challenges, uh, I find. In my time coaching kids is that they are stuck between two worlds and have no navigation on how to bounce back and forth from them. The first world is from their parents, their grandparents, people that are 10 to 20 years older than them. So sorry, 20 to 30 years older than them.

Dawn Taylor

So it's like, whoa, what? Yeah. What kids are you working with?

Andrew Hovelston

All right, well, I grew up in a small town. I. I grew up in a small town. Sometimes that ten gets pushed to, you know, 18 years older. But let's go 20 to, you know, 20 to 30, maybe even 40 years older than that. Right. It grew up in a different time. It was a time where, where 401 K's, where pensions existed, where the cost of living was exponentially lower than it is now. Um, at least in America, where the labor protections were far greater. Where if you didn't have labor protections, your ability to negotiate a living wage in a job was more, um, where even if you took a chance on yourself and your business and your passion when you failed, if you failed, it was far easier due to just the simple economics of life to pick yourself back up numerous times and multiple times. It's not that way right now.

Dawn Taylor

Not at all.

Andrew Hovelston

And and so kids are on social media all the time, which I think is awesome. My wife is an absolute badass, and she runs an awesome online fitness business. And I am a huge fan, I follow a ton of entrepreneurs online who have taught me a ton.

Dawn Taylor

Yeah.

Andrew Hovelston

The reality is that when a social media influencer or not even an influencer, somebody who runs an absolutely great company comes on and they say follow your passion. More often than not, what that is equated to with young people is just putting your passion online. Literally put your passion on Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook. And they're not saying learn how to monetize it. They're not saying, I actually built a personal brand after I built a supplement brand, or after I built the long and boring work of building a plumbing company. Right. Or being a professor for 40 years. Right. And now I have this knowledge as a professor, and somebody taught me how to film myself. Or real estate. You know, that's huge online right now. Real estate.

Dawn Taylor

Oh, ridiculous.

Andrew Hovelston

Just be a real estate millionaire. Sure. Absolutely. You can, you can, you can buy a house for a million bucks now and then. Can you deal with your toilets and termites and tenants? Right. And so a 15 year old just thinks, no, I'm going to put that online and become a YouTuber. Okay.

Dawn Taylor

Mhm.

Andrew Hovelston

Or a Twitch streamer. Right. Because that's my passion. Well the reality is that that's what you see as your passion. If you're going to be a Twitch streamer or a YouTuber, your day to day life is much different than playing video games. It's investing in the tools in order for you to sound good. To look good. It's being okay with a 15, 16, 17, 18 year old brain when you film 12 hours of you playing Grand Theft Auto and you forgot to click record. And the work is now, you think your life is over. And, or I'm an artist. I'm an actor. Right. Follow your passion. I love following my passion, I followed my passion also. Part of my passion was having a marriage and having three kids and their realities that come with that, which means you need to have money coming into your bank account. Now, that doesn't mean that you have to earn the money. It can come from parents who support you or family money that supports you, right? Or a cash windfall that supports you. But unless we talk about that with young people, the simple follow your passion for young people gets incredibly disoriented. Disorienting because I coach them. Right.

Dawn Taylor

Dawn Taylor

I am your host, Dawn Taylor, and today I have the privilege and the honour of talking to you, Andrew Hovelston. If you don't know him, you need to. So who is Andrew? Before we get to our topic, Andrew is an actor. He is a passionate guy in art and business. He graduated from Guthrie Theater, magna cum laude with a BFA in acting. He also holds an MFA. I don't even know what that is, but we're going to ask, acting from NYU TIsch School of the Art graduate Acting program, which only accepts 1% of applicants. This guy is impressive. He has appeared on Broadway, film, television, and runs the top life coaching company for teens and young adults worldwide, Southwestern Student Coaching. He also has a passion for student education entrepreneurship. He lives with his wife and three young sons in Hell's Kitchen, NYC, which is New York. Manhattan, New York that they aptly named the Testosterone Factory. Because if you've ever been to New York, you know the apartments are not large. So, I cannot even imagine living in one with three kids. But today, guys, we're going to have a bit of a controversial topic today. So, I hope you listen to this all the way through and listen to it with an open heart, because I am incredibly excited about this. We're going to talk about how you're screwing up your kids. And how we as a society are screwing up our kids. So, Andrew, take it from here. Welcome to the show. 

Andrew Hovelston

We should have a little disclaimer, along the bottom or, you know, that pops in here that says Andrew does have three kids himself. So, he is in the active process of screwing kids up with everyone else who's listening. 

Dawn Taylor

And I don't have kids, so I really I guess I'm not allowed to have an opinion, but I work with the kids that are getting screwed up when they show up in my office as young adults. So, you and I had, we met through an event we were both at forever ago, and we've been having this amazing month of conversations. Talking about mental health and kids and youth and, you know, just life in general. Business owners, all things, just all the things. And one of the topics that came up when you're talking one day was how we're actually screwing up our kids. And we talked about how parents don't want to hear this. And I said, you know what, let's do a podcast on this. Let's talk about this. And also like in that give some tips, but also some like, hey, in this way we are. And I even say like we collectively as a society. We are screwing up kids. So talk to me about your thoughts on that. Oh, really quick before we start, what is the MFA? Is that a master's in fine arts? Oh, okay. Wow. Impressive. 

Andrew Hovelston

It's, uh. I always lead with that in my bio because it gets the hook. And then we ended up not talking about acting at all. We end up, rightfully so, talking about the next generation and coaching kids. But it's a lot of shiny objects for, you know, people in social media, short attention span to go. I guess I'd better listen to this guy. 

Dawn Taylor

Maybe because he actually has some letters. 

Andrew Hovelston

It's some letters behind his name. Yeah, 

Dawn Taylor

I love it. Well, Mr. Letters behind your name. Let's talk about how we're messing up our kids. So what we were just talking about prior to even hitting record is this toxic positivity that is going on in this world right now. And this complete bullshit idea on we should just all be following our hearts. Well let's, let's just go there. Let's just go there. What are your thoughts on this?

Andrew Hovelston

Yeah. I mean, my thoughts are. I have many, many thoughts. My overwhelming thesis and hypothesis are different. But my hypothesis on the grand experiment of life, which is parenting is you need to follow your heart when you can pay for it. That's it. Full stop. Follow your heart when you can pay for it, and when you can learn how to do it with great mental health. 

Dawn Taylor

I'm not disagreeing at all. 

Andrew Hovelston

One of the biggest challenges, uh, I find. In my time coaching kids is that they are stuck between two worlds and have no navigation on how to bounce back and forth from them. The first world is from their parents, their grandparents, people that are 10 to 20 years older than them. So sorry, 20 to 30 years older than them. 

Dawn Taylor

So it's like, whoa, what? Yeah. What kids are you working with? 

Andrew Hovelston

All right, well, I grew up in a small town. I. I grew up in a small town. Sometimes that ten gets pushed to, you know, 18 years older. But let's go 20 to, you know, 20 to 30, maybe even 40 years older than that. Right. It grew up in a different time. It was a time where, where 401 K's, where pensions existed, where the cost of living was exponentially lower than it is now. Um, at least in America, where the labor protections were far greater. Where if you didn't have labor protections, your ability to negotiate a living wage in a job was more, um, where even if you took a chance on yourself and your business and your passion when you failed, if you failed, it was far easier due to just the simple economics of life to pick yourself back up numerous times and multiple times. It's not that way right now. 

Dawn Taylor 

Not at all. 

Andrew Hovelston

And and so kids are on social media all the time, which I think is awesome. My wife is an absolute badass, and she runs an awesome online fitness business. And I am a huge fan, I follow a ton of entrepreneurs online who have taught me a ton. 

Dawn Taylor

Yeah. 

Andrew Hovelston

The reality is that when a social media influencer or not even an influencer, somebody who runs an absolutely great company comes on and they say follow your passion. More often than not, what that is equated to with young people is just putting your passion online. Literally put your passion on Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook. And they're not saying learn how to monetize it. They're not saying, I actually built a personal brand after I built a supplement brand, or after I built the long and boring work of building a plumbing company. Right. Or being a professor for 40 years. Right. And now I have this knowledge as a professor, and somebody taught me how to film myself. Or real estate. You know, that's huge online right now. Real estate. 

Dawn Taylor

Oh, ridiculous.

Andrew Hovelston 

Just be a real estate millionaire. Sure. Absolutely. You can, you can, you can buy a house for a million bucks now and then. Can you deal with your toilets and termites and tenants? Right. And so a 15 year old just thinks, no, I'm going to put that online and become a YouTuber. Okay. 

Dawn Taylor

Mhm. 

Andrew Hovelston

Or a Twitch streamer. Right. Because that's my passion. Well the reality is that that's what you see as your passion. If you're going to be a Twitch streamer or a YouTuber, your day to day life is much different than playing video games. It's investing in the tools in order for you to sound good. To look good. It's being okay with a 15, 16, 17, 18 year old brain when you film 12 hours of you playing Grand Theft Auto and you forgot to click record. And the work is now, you think your life is over. And, or I'm an artist. I'm an actor. Right. Follow your passion. I love following my passion, I followed my passion also. Part of my passion was having a marriage and having three kids and their realities that come with that, which means you need to have money coming into your bank account. Now, that doesn't mean that you have to earn the money. It can come from parents who support you or family money that supports you, right? Or a cash windfall that supports you. But unless we talk about that with young people, the simple follow your passion for young people gets incredibly disoriented. Disorienting because I coach them. Right. 

Dawn Taylor

Andrew Hovelson

Mhm. Um, let's say a young actor, right, moves to LA and says, well, my parents told me to follow my passion. I'm supposed to follow my passion, but my passion, I'm not passionate about that. I can't pay rent at the end of the month. I'm not passionate about that. I'm really lonely and the rest of my friends are going into a job every day and have a social life that is just a byproduct of working. I'm not. I'm not passionate about that. I thought, following my passion of creating characters in my mind and my body and my spirit was going to be enough. And it's like, well, it's a lot like a marriage, that it's not enough to just follow your passion. 

Dawn Taylor

Well, can we talk about two with that? Then becomes this massive feeling of rejection and I'm failing and I suck and all of those things. And then not only that, but then we have this world of people out there. And, I mean, I did an entire podcast on - is the self-help industry harming more than healing? So people know my thoughts on this if you've listened to that episode, but 

then we have this whole world of like, no, you just have to be at a higher vibrational frequency and know you just have to be aligning with it, and you just have to fill in the blanks and it's magically going to flow. And I don't agree. I don't agree with that. I talk to people every single day. I talked to someone a little while ago. He literally quit a major job. He's had one client in five years trying to build a business. “But no, this is my passion.” And I'm like. What are you like? Go get a damn job. Like, when did, j-o-b, when did having a job become, like, the ultimate failure in life? And almost this thing to be looked down on instead of hey, you know what? Based on everything from my mental health to my need for security, to my dreams, for my future, to my responsibilities. I actually really just want a paycheck. And then my passions can be my hobbies, my passion can be my side hustle, my passions can be those things. And I truly believe that we are not even just screwing up our kids. We are screwing up ourselves with this. I talked to a young business owner this week and I said, seriously, do me one thing, if nothing else. And he was like, what? And I said, do not make yourself your business. And your business yourself, I said, because then what happens is your worth becomes your business. And if at some point in your life you can no longer do it, you don't want to do it. It doesn't work for what you're doing. You can make your resume up and go get a job and be fine. And he's like, yeah, but what about you? You've been doing this for nine years. And I was like, yeah, and I could get a job tomorrow and be okay with that. And I think that's like, we are screwing that up. We're not teaching anyone responsibility anymore. 

Andrew Hovelson

I mean, that's the big thing, right? Is that in our coaching, um, with Southwestern Student Coaching, is that you can follow your passion, but. But far more important. Then your passion or following or the suck it up mentality, right? That's the other thing that we're killing our kids with is just suck it up. I don't care if you don't like it, suck it up, suck it up. And the kids are like, oh, I guess I don't even have any room for passion now, and I just have to suck it up and do stuff I hate for the next 50 years. And that gets disorienting, because then they talk to their friends, they go online and they see, well, these guys are all following their passion. My mom, dad, uncle, brothers, sister have been really successful, and what they're telling me to do is suck it up. And so what's in between? Well, what's in between for us is, passion has to become. It has to become the not the toxic positivity self-help. But the executive skills of what is self-talk is the discipline behind choosing the words you say to yourself and believing them. What is the discipline behind how to set a goal and achieve it? I don't care if your goal is I need to go get a job at Taco Bell, or if your goal is I need to start a little dropshipping business or lemonade stand because that's my passion. None of that matters. The outcome does not matter. 

Dawn Taylor

It's the skills that you're developing. 

Andrew Hovelson

It is the skill set you're developing. It is 120,000,000% the skill set you're developing. And that goes for top performers. We coach Utah Olympians. We coach people from MIT grad school. We coach people that are high schoolers that are headed into Ivy League schools. And we coach a bunch of people that are unmotivated and on drugs and alcohol. Right? What's far more important than any of the results that they get is their ability to seal with challenges and shorten the time in which they forgive themselves. Learn and then go take action again. So a kid that gets his first C or her first C and spins out of control. Spins out of control like their life is over. Because we've told them to suck it up. Right? And you didn't work hard enough if you didn't get the results that you wanted, is the exact same problem as follow your passion and get all F's. But at least you're following your passion. Because it's not teaching the discipline, the skill set and habits and the mindset that they can go do whatever they want. Go be an engineer. Go be a plumber. And if you want to learn how to, you can make a lot of money just being a plumber, not just being a plumber. That's pejorative. Uh, you can make a lot of money being a plumber if you want to make more money, but also have a little more stress. Build yourself a plumbing business. But you're no longer a plumber. You are now a business owner, right? And so don't look at the guy in your hometown that says, just be a plumber and make millions. You have to figure out how to build that plumbing business, and that takes a different set of skills. And we're not telling that to our kids. I'm saying plumbers can make a lot of money seeing social media. People can be millionaires. Right. We're saying, just go play your French horn and you'll be successful. I live in a building. There's a lot of French horn players here. Success is relative. They might be super happy. I don't know if they have the money they need. I have no idea. Right. But I hope that is not too, I hope that's tangible enough. That were really, really, really messing up the future generation, um, by not giving them a path to run on. I always think of this vehicle ability and mindset, right. And I think about that in business more. But how have we been able to translate that to coaching to 320 kids in nine different countries? Right. What is the vehicle in which you're going to learn the skill set or how I talk about it is what is the framework in which you're going to learn the skill set of overcoming adversity, learning how to succeed with good mental health, and being kind to yourself. Now it could be a chess club. It could be the football team, right? It could be learning how to be valedictorian. But, you need a framework in which to learn those things, and the framework doesn't matter. You just have to have a framework and it can't be only 1 or 2 frameworks. Follow your passion or suck it up. Those aren't frameworks. 

Dawn Taylor

No, it's interesting. I was talking to some have a lot of nieces and nephews that I have really cool relationships with, and it was probably four years ago that my one nephew was like, oh, I don't want to be an adult. And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, oh no, I'd rather just kill myself. And I was like, oh, hi, can we have a conversation? Like this is extreme. And we did. We've had so many conversations around this and thankfully he's come out of this headspace. But we had a really interesting conversation. He's like, no. He's like, why would I want to become my parents? And I was like, explain, like define that. What do you mean by that? And he goes, well, look, he's like, think about it. He goes and everyone online is talking about this right now. He's like, yeah, my parents have a job and they're doing their thing. But then they complain about it all the time and bitch about it all the time, and they're miserable at the end of the day. And it doesn't matter how hard you work, you never have enough money. And he's like being an adult really looks miserable. Why would I want to do it? And I remember thinking about that, and we spent hours talking about this and how we could shift this and how we could change this. And I said, you know. Because he's like, you're happy in your work. He's like, how did that happen? And I said, you know, a couple things. One is I stepped out of the expectations that people had of me. And I wasn't afraid to fail. 

Andrew Hovelson

Yeah. 

Dawn Taylor

And I said, I don't know if it's because I had failed so much in my life. I had fallen down so many times in my life that it didn't become scary anymore. Sure. But it was like, yeah, why not? It's not going to fall again. Cool. I know how to get back up. And I think that is a thing that we're not teaching our kids either. Nowadays. Like you can't even fall on a you can't even fall on a playground anymore. I don't know how the state says, but Canada is like, no, no, no, we're gonna make it all foam and we're gonna make it all soft and gentle because we don't want anyone to get bruised. We don't want to get hurt. Right? Like it's gone so far in the opposite direction. It's like we're going to swoop in and rescue you. Anytime there is a problem, anytime there is a discomfort. We don't ever want you to have to face adversity. And I think that our kids need to know that they need to learn how to grieve. They need to learn how to fail. There's consequences for action sometimes. And no, you didn't finish your homework, so you did get in trouble in class. And I'm not going to call your teacher to rescue you. That's just your reality.

Right?

Andrew Hovelson

Yeah. Part of what gets really challenging in parenting. Um, and from the parents that I work with and, you know, parenting myself is that the kids from, you know, about ten years old to maybe 24, 25, have a different idea or definition of what failure is. And while I 1,000,000% believe maybe to a fault, right, that they need more and more and more and more failure and more challenges and more challenges. What we do as parents that we really screw things up on is not acknowledging when they feel like they've had a major failure. Right when there and then. And then giving them the tools. This is the most important part. We all screw up on, is absolutely giving them the tools to recognize, to not discount their failure, but to recognize that next time they can change it. So my eight year old and we're screwing our kids. I mean, I'm gonna screw my kids up, right? But it was like, it was like a valuable lesson. I was like, um, our philosophy in our household is that even in third grade, we're not going to tell you, um, we're going to make sure you get your homework done. Right. Your eight year old brain can remember to do it. But you know what? If you forget that folder on the table, right? Or underneath a chair? That's not our responsibility. It's really not. And what we can help you do is right after you get your homework done, we will remind you the first couple times to put it right in your backpack because that's definitely going with you tomorrow to school. But it's not my job to remind you every single morning because then your pattern is I don't have to think about it right when I get it done because somebody else, mom or dad, it doesn't even matter. You can replace any adult or any brother or sister who will remind me to go on to the next step of my homework, which is actually bringing it to school to turn it in. Okay, long story longer, uh, I'm like, this is amazing. I'm a genius parent. This is like going to my kids who are going to be so successful and whatever they want to be. And, uh, he, you know, my eight year old forgets it, and we're on our way to school and he mass hysteria, he's like, I can't, it's my life is over. I will never, my teacher is going to get so mad and I can never and I get to school and I'm like, all right. And I'm trying to be like, okay, what did we learn? You know, and we'll implant this into your brain. Now, you'll remember it when you're 18 and when you're 38 for bigger challenges to solve. Get to school. And as teachers like what went on and I was like I actually don't know what there's something just besides the homework. And he goes you didn't sign it and I can't, you didn't sign my homework and now I'm not going to get credit for it. And she looks at him or the teacher, she goes, oh that's it. He's like, dude. Get into class. And it was just a breaking of his pattern. And where I kind of look back where I screwed up, is that not I would have never told him to have his homework again. Right. But I could have got down and been like, that really sucks. Do you feel like your life is over? Huh? You know what, it might be, but we're not going to know until we go talk to your teacher.  And I think most parents let's forward ten years and their kids are 18 and they're not turning in their homework. Right. You're saying your kid is a failure or you're talking to your son? Why don't you turn in your homework? You're lazy. Right? Why don't you turn in your homework? You're never going to be able to do anything, right. Why don't you turn in your homework? See, I told you, if you just would have turned it in, your results would have been different. When really what we've missed over the last eight years, from 10 to 18, is all of those little times, those tiny little times where that kid didn't raise his hand in class or he or she had another, that kid, even for the popular kids in school, say you're stupid, right? For them. And they're afraid to take that risk and fail. Um, because of how they're going to be judged. And we didn't catch that stuff early on enough. That's saying life is going to be hard. And, you know, this time that you got that B or you got that B, um, you can get an A next time. But it might not just be hard work. It might be some different things. You might need to go ask your teacher for some help, reason you might need to think through the fact that, excuse my French, but you're not a shitty person. Right. You're just around five kids who make you feel terrible about yourself. That would be hard for me to get in any two. And acknowledge that and then say, you know what? You know what, Billy? Johnny? Rachel? It's not going to help you. To blame them. If you want what's the tools that we need to do in order to get that? And if you don't want the A, fine. Or not, fine. I mean, you know, you choose your parenting style if you don't want the A, fine. Um, but what we need to do here is if you get a D and you feel bad. And part of the reason is that you're having a horrible time at school. What can you do to not have a horrible time at school and the results will speak to themselves? Dawn Taylor

I am your host, Dawn Taylor, and today I have the privilege and the honour of talking to you, Andrew Hovelston. If you don't know him, you need to. So who is Andrew? Before we get to our topic, Andrew is an actor. He is a passionate guy in art and business. He graduated from Guthrie Theater, magna cum laude with a BFA in acting. He also holds an MFA. I don't even know what that is, but we're going to ask, acting from NYU TIsch School of the Art graduate Acting program, which only accepts 1% of applicants. This guy is impressive. He has appeared on Broadway, film, television, and runs the top life coaching company for teens and young adults worldwide, Southwestern Student Coaching. He also has a passion for student education entrepreneurship. He lives with his wife and three young sons in Hell's Kitchen, NYC, which is New York. Manhattan, New York that they aptly named the Testosterone Factory. Because if you've ever been to New York, you know the apartments are not large. So, I cannot even imagine living in one with three kids. But today, guys, we're going to have a bit of a controversial topic today. So, I hope you listen to this all the way through and listen to it with an open heart, because I am incredibly excited about this. We're going to talk about how you're screwing up your kids. And how we as a society are screwing up our kids. So, Andrew, take it from here. Welcome to the show. 

Andrew Hovelston

We should have a little disclaimer, along the bottom or, you know, that pops in here that says Andrew does have three kids himself. So, he is in the active process of screwing kids up with everyone else who's listening. 

Dawn Taylor

And I don't have kids, so I really I guess I'm not allowed to have an opinion, but I work with the kids that are getting screwed up when they show up in my office as young adults. So, you and I had, we met through an event we were both at forever ago, and we've been having this amazing month of conversations. Talking about mental health and kids and youth and, you know, just life in general. Business owners, all things, just all the things. And one of the topics that came up when you're talking one day was how we're actually screwing up our kids. And we talked about how parents don't want to hear this. And I said, you know what, let's do a podcast on this. Let's talk about this. And also like in that give some tips, but also some like, hey, in this way we are. And I even say like we collectively as a society. We are screwing up kids. So talk to me about your thoughts on that. Oh, really quick before we start, what is the MFA? Is that a master's in fine arts? Oh, okay. Wow. Impressive. 

Andrew Hovelston

It's, uh. I always lead with that in my bio because it gets the hook. And then we ended up not talking about acting at all. We end up, rightfully so, talking about the next generation and coaching kids. But it's a lot of shiny objects for, you know, people in social media, short attention span to go. I guess I'd better listen to this guy. 

Dawn Taylor

Maybe because he actually has some letters. 

Andrew Hovelston

It's some letters behind his name. Yeah, 

Dawn Taylor

I love it. Well, Mr. Letters behind your name. Let's talk about how we're messing up our kids. So what we were just talking about prior to even hitting record is this toxic positivity that is going on in this world right now. And this complete bullshit idea on we should just all be following our hearts. Well let's, let's just go there. Let's just go there. What are your thoughts on this?

Andrew Hovelston

Yeah. I mean, my thoughts are. I have many, many thoughts. My overwhelming thesis and hypothesis are different. But my hypothesis on the grand experiment of life, which is parenting is you need to follow your heart when you can pay for it. That's it. Full stop. Follow your heart when you can pay for it, and when you can learn how to do it with great mental health. 

Dawn Taylor

I'm not disagreeing at all. 

Andrew Hovelston

One of the biggest challenges, uh, I find. In my time coaching kids is that they are stuck between two worlds and have no navigation on how to bounce back and forth from them. The first world is from their parents, their grandparents, people that are 10 to 20 years older than them. So sorry, 20 to 30 years older than them. 

Dawn Taylor

So it's like, whoa, what? Yeah. What kids are you working with? 

Andrew Hovelston

All right, well, I grew up in a small town. I. I grew up in a small town. Sometimes that ten gets pushed to, you know, 18 years older. But let's go 20 to, you know, 20 to 30, maybe even 40 years older than that. Right. It grew up in a different time. It was a time where, where 401 K's, where pensions existed, where the cost of living was exponentially lower than it is now. Um, at least in America, where the labor protections were far greater. Where if you didn't have labor protections, your ability to negotiate a living wage in a job was more, um, where even if you took a chance on yourself and your business and your passion when you failed, if you failed, it was far easier due to just the simple economics of life to pick yourself back up numerous times and multiple times. It's not that way right now. 

Dawn Taylor 

Not at all. 

Andrew Hovelston

And and so kids are on social media all the time, which I think is awesome. My wife is an absolute badass, and she runs an awesome online fitness business. And I am a huge fan, I follow a ton of entrepreneurs online who have taught me a ton. 

Dawn Taylor

Yeah. 

Andrew Hovelston

The reality is that when a social media influencer or not even an influencer, somebody who runs an absolutely great company comes on and they say follow your passion. More often than not, what that is equated to with young people is just putting your passion online. Literally put your passion on Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook. And they're not saying learn how to monetize it. They're not saying, I actually built a personal brand after I built a supplement brand, or after I built the long and boring work of building a plumbing company. Right. Or being a professor for 40 years. Right. And now I have this knowledge as a professor, and somebody taught me how to film myself. Or real estate. You know, that's huge online right now. Real estate. 

Dawn Taylor

Oh, ridiculous.

Andrew Hovelston 

Just be a real estate millionaire. Sure. Absolutely. You can, you can, you can buy a house for a million bucks now and then. Can you deal with your toilets and termites and tenants? Right. And so a 15 year old just thinks, no, I'm going to put that online and become a YouTuber. Okay. 

Dawn Taylor

Mhm. 

Andrew Hovelston

Or a Twitch streamer. Right. Because that's my passion. Well the reality is that that's what you see as your passion. If you're going to be a Twitch streamer or a YouTuber, your day to day life is much different than playing video games. It's investing in the tools in order for you to sound good. To look good. It's being okay with a 15, 16, 17, 18 year old brain when you film 12 hours of you playing Grand Theft Auto and you forgot to click record. And the work is now, you think your life is over. And, or I'm an artist. I'm an actor. Right. Follow your passion. I love following my passion, I followed my passion also. Part of my passion was having a marriage and having three kids and their realities that come with that, which means you need to have money coming into your bank account. Now, that doesn't mean that you have to earn the money. It can come from parents who support you or family money that supports you, right? Or a cash windfall that supports you. But unless we talk about that with young people, the simple follow your passion for young people gets incredibly disoriented. Disorienting because I coach them. Right. 

Dawn Taylor

Andrew Hovelson

Mhm. Um, let's say a young actor, right, moves to LA and says, well, my parents told me to follow my passion. I'm supposed to follow my passion, but my passion, I'm not passionate about that. I can't pay rent at the end of the month. I'm not passionate about that. I'm really lonely and the rest of my friends are going into a job every day and have a social life that is just a byproduct of working. I'm not. I'm not passionate about that. I thought, following my passion of creating characters in my mind and my body and my spirit was going to be enough. And it's like, well, it's a lot like a marriage, that it's not enough to just follow your passion. 

Dawn Taylor

Well, can we talk about two with that? Then becomes this massive feeling of rejection and I'm failing and I suck and all of those things. And then not only that, but then we have this world of people out there. And, I mean, I did an entire podcast on - is the self-help industry harming more than healing? So people know my thoughts on this if you've listened to that episode, but 

then we have this whole world of like, no, you just have to be at a higher vibrational frequency and know you just have to be aligning with it, and you just have to fill in the blanks and it's magically going to flow. And I don't agree. I don't agree with that. I talk to people every single day. I talked to someone a little while ago. He literally quit a major job. He's had one client in five years trying to build a business. “But no, this is my passion.” And I'm like. What are you like? Go get a damn job. Like, when did, j-o-b, when did having a job become, like, the ultimate failure in life? And almost this thing to be looked down on instead of hey, you know what? Based on everything from my mental health to my need for security, to my dreams, for my future, to my responsibilities. I actually really just want a paycheck. And then my passions can be my hobbies, my passion can be my side hustle, my passions can be those things. And I truly believe that we are not even just screwing up our kids. We are screwing up ourselves with this. I talked to a young business owner this week and I said, seriously, do me one thing, if nothing else. And he was like, what? And I said, do not make yourself your business. And your business yourself, I said, because then what happens is your worth becomes your business. And if at some point in your life you can no longer do it, you don't want to do it. It doesn't work for what you're doing. You can make your resume up and go get a job and be fine. And he's like, yeah, but what about you? You've been doing this for nine years. And I was like, yeah, and I could get a job tomorrow and be okay with that. And I think that's like, we are screwing that up. We're not teaching anyone responsibility anymore. 

Andrew Hovelson

I mean, that's the big thing, right? Is that in our coaching, um, with Southwestern Student Coaching, is that you can follow your passion, but. But far more important. Then your passion or following or the suck it up mentality, right? That's the other thing that we're killing our kids with is just suck it up. I don't care if you don't like it, suck it up, suck it up. And the kids are like, oh, I guess I don't even have any room for passion now, and I just have to suck it up and do stuff I hate for the next 50 years. And that gets disorienting, because then they talk to their friends, they go online and they see, well, these guys are all following their passion. My mom, dad, uncle, brothers, sister have been really successful, and what they're telling me to do is suck it up. And so what's in between? Well, what's in between for us is, passion has to become. It has to become the not the toxic positivity self-help. But the executive skills of what is self-talk is the discipline behind choosing the words you say to yourself and believing them. What is the discipline behind how to set a goal and achieve it? I don't care if your goal is I need to go get a job at Taco Bell, or if your goal is I need to start a little dropshipping business or lemonade stand because that's my passion. None of that matters. The outcome does not matter. 

Dawn Taylor

It's the skills that you're developing. 

Andrew Hovelson

It is the skill set you're developing. It is 120,000,000% the skill set you're developing. And that goes for top performers. We coach Utah Olympians. We coach people from MIT grad school. We coach people that are high schoolers that are headed into Ivy League schools. And we coach a bunch of people that are unmotivated and on drugs and alcohol. Right? What's far more important than any of the results that they get is their ability to seal with challenges and shorten the time in which they forgive themselves. Learn and then go take action again. So a kid that gets his first C or her first C and spins out of control. Spins out of control like their life is over. Because we've told them to suck it up. Right? And you didn't work hard enough if you didn't get the results that you wanted, is the exact same problem as follow your passion and get all F's. But at least you're following your passion. Because it's not teaching the discipline, the skill set and habits and the mindset that they can go do whatever they want. Go be an engineer. Go be a plumber. And if you want to learn how to, you can make a lot of money just being a plumber, not just being a plumber. That's pejorative. Uh, you can make a lot of money being a plumber if you want to make more money, but also have a little more stress. Build yourself a plumbing business. But you're no longer a plumber. You are now a business owner, right? And so don't look at the guy in your hometown that says, just be a plumber and make millions. You have to figure out how to build that plumbing business, and that takes a different set of skills. And we're not telling that to our kids. I'm saying plumbers can make a lot of money seeing social media. People can be millionaires. Right. We're saying, just go play your French horn and you'll be successful. I live in a building. There's a lot of French horn players here. Success is relative. They might be super happy. I don't know if they have the money they need. I have no idea. Right. But I hope that is not too, I hope that's tangible enough. That were really, really, really messing up the future generation, um, by not giving them a path to run on. I always think of this vehicle ability and mindset, right. And I think about that in business more. But how have we been able to translate that to coaching to 320 kids in nine different countries? Right. What is the vehicle in which you're going to learn the skill set or how I talk about it is what is the framework in which you're going to learn the skill set of overcoming adversity, learning how to succeed with good mental health, and being kind to yourself. Now it could be a chess club. It could be the football team, right? It could be learning how to be valedictorian. But, you need a framework in which to learn those things, and the framework doesn't matter. You just have to have a framework and it can't be only 1 or 2 frameworks. Follow your passion or suck it up. Those aren't frameworks. 

Dawn Taylor

No, it's interesting. I was talking to some have a lot of nieces and nephews that I have really cool relationships with, and it was probably four years ago that my one nephew was like, oh, I don't want to be an adult. And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, oh no, I'd rather just kill myself. And I was like, oh, hi, can we have a conversation? Like this is extreme. And we did. We've had so many conversations around this and thankfully he's come out of this headspace. But we had a really interesting conversation. He's like, no. He's like, why would I want to become my parents? And I was like, explain, like define that. What do you mean by that? And he goes, well, look, he's like, think about it. He goes and everyone online is talking about this right now. He's like, yeah, my parents have a job and they're doing their thing. But then they complain about it all the time and bitch about it all the time, and they're miserable at the end of the day. And it doesn't matter how hard you work, you never have enough money. And he's like being an adult really looks miserable. Why would I want to do it? And I remember thinking about that, and we spent hours talking about this and how we could shift this and how we could change this. And I said, you know. Because he's like, you're happy in your work. He's like, how did that happen? And I said, you know, a couple things. One is I stepped out of the expectations that people had of me. And I wasn't afraid to fail. 

Andrew Hovelson

Yeah. 

Dawn Taylor

And I said, I don't know if it's because I had failed so much in my life. I had fallen down so many times in my life that it didn't become scary anymore. Sure. But it was like, yeah, why not? It's not going to fall again. Cool. I know how to get back up. And I think that is a thing that we're not teaching our kids either. Nowadays. Like you can't even fall on a you can't even fall on a playground anymore. I don't know how the state says, but Canada is like, no, no, no, we're gonna make it all foam and we're gonna make it all soft and gentle because we don't want anyone to get bruised. We don't want to get hurt. Right? Like it's gone so far in the opposite direction. It's like we're going to swoop in and rescue you. Anytime there is a problem, anytime there is a discomfort. We don't ever want you to have to face adversity. And I think that our kids need to know that they need to learn how to grieve. They need to learn how to fail. There's consequences for action sometimes. And no, you didn't finish your homework, so you did get in trouble in class. And I'm not going to call your teacher to rescue you. That's just your reality.

Right?

Andrew Hovelson

Yeah. Part of what gets really challenging in parenting. Um, and from the parents that I work with and, you know, parenting myself is that the kids from, you know, about ten years old to maybe 24, 25, have a different idea or definition of what failure is. And while I 1,000,000% believe maybe to a fault, right, that they need more and more and more and more failure and more challenges and more challenges. What we do as parents that we really screw things up on is not acknowledging when they feel like they've had a major failure. Right when there and then. And then giving them the tools. This is the most important part. We all screw up on, is absolutely giving them the tools to recognize, to not discount their failure, but to recognize that next time they can change it. So my eight year old and we're screwing our kids. I mean, I'm gonna screw my kids up, right? But it was like, it was like a valuable lesson. I was like, um, our philosophy in our household is that even in third grade, we're not going to tell you, um, we're going to make sure you get your homework done. Right. Your eight year old brain can remember to do it. But you know what? If you forget that folder on the table, right? Or underneath a chair? That's not our responsibility. It's really not. And what we can help you do is right after you get your homework done, we will remind you the first couple times to put it right in your backpack because that's definitely going with you tomorrow to school. But it's not my job to remind you every single morning because then your pattern is I don't have to think about it right when I get it done because somebody else, mom or dad, it doesn't even matter. You can replace any adult or any brother or sister who will remind me to go on to the next step of my homework, which is actually bringing it to school to turn it in. Okay, long story longer, uh, I'm like, this is amazing. I'm a genius parent. This is like going to my kids who are going to be so successful and whatever they want to be. And, uh, he, you know, my eight year old forgets it, and we're on our way to school and he mass hysteria, he's like, I can't, it's my life is over. I will never, my teacher is going to get so mad and I can never and I get to school and I'm like, all right. And I'm trying to be like, okay, what did we learn? You know, and we'll implant this into your brain. Now, you'll remember it when you're 18 and when you're 38 for bigger challenges to solve. Get to school. And as teachers like what went on and I was like I actually don't know what there's something just besides the homework. And he goes you didn't sign it and I can't, you didn't sign my homework and now I'm not going to get credit for it. And she looks at him or the teacher, she goes, oh that's it. He's like, dude. Get into class. And it was just a breaking of his pattern. And where I kind of look back where I screwed up, is that not I would have never told him to have his homework again. Right. But I could have got down and been like, that really sucks. Do you feel like your life is over? Huh? You know what, it might be, but we're not going to know until we go talk to your teacher.  And I think most parents let's forward ten years and their kids are 18 and they're not turning in their homework. Right. You're saying your kid is a failure or you're talking to your son? Why don't you turn in your homework? You're lazy. Right? Why don't you turn in your homework? You're never going to be able to do anything, right. Why don't you turn in your homework? See, I told you, if you just would have turned it in, your results would have been different. When really what we've missed over the last eight years, from 10 to 18, is all of those little times, those tiny little times where that kid didn't raise his hand in class or he or she had another, that kid, even for the popular kids in school, say you're stupid, right? For them. And they're afraid to take that risk and fail. Um, because of how they're going to be judged. And we didn't catch that stuff early on enough. That's saying life is going to be hard. And, you know, this time that you got that B or you got that B, um, you can get an A next time. But it might not just be hard work. It might be some different things. You might need to go ask your teacher for some help, reason you might need to think through the fact that, excuse my French, but you're not a shitty person. Right. You're just around five kids who make you feel terrible about yourself. That would be hard for me to get in any two. And acknowledge that and then say, you know what? You know what, Billy? Johnny? Rachel? It's not going to help you. To blame them. If you want what's the tools that we need to do in order to get that? And if you don't want the A, fine. Or not, fine. I mean, you know, you choose your parenting style if you don't want the A, fine. Um, but what we need to do here is if you get a D and you feel bad. And part of the reason is that you're having a horrible time at school. What can you do to not have a horrible time at school and the results will speak to themselves?

Mhm. Um, let's say a young actor, right, moves to LA and says, well, my parents told me to follow my passion. I'm supposed to follow my passion, but my passion, I'm not passionate about that. I can't pay rent at the end of the month. I'm not passionate about that. I'm really lonely and the rest of my friends are going into a job every day and have a social life that is just a byproduct of working. I'm not. I'm not passionate about that. I thought, following my passion of creating characters in my mind and my body and my spirit was going to be enough. And it's like, well, it's a lot like a marriage, that it's not enough to just follow your passion.

Dawn Taylor

Well, can we talk about two with that? Then becomes this massive feeling of rejection and I'm failing and I suck and all of those things. And then not only that, but then we have this world of people out there. And, I mean, I did an entire podcast on - is the self-help industry harming more than healing? So people know my thoughts on this if you've listened to that episode, but

then we have this whole world of like, no, you just have to be at a higher vibrational frequency and know you just have to be aligning with it, and you just have to fill in the blanks and it's magically going to flow. And I don't agree. I don't agree with that. I talk to people every single day. I talked to someone a little while ago. He literally quit a major job. He's had one client in five years trying to build a business. “But no, this is my passion.” And I'm like. What are you like? Go get a damn job. Like, when did, j-o-b, when did having a job become, like, the ultimate failure in life? And almost this thing to be looked down on instead of hey, you know what? Based on everything from my mental health to my need for security, to my dreams, for my future, to my responsibilities. I actually really just want a paycheck. And then my passions can be my hobbies, my passion can be my side hustle, my passions can be those things. And I truly believe that we are not even just screwing up our kids. We are screwing up ourselves with this. I talked to a young business owner this week and I said, seriously, do me one thing, if nothing else. And he was like, what? And I said, do not make yourself your business. And your business yourself, I said, because then what happens is your worth becomes your business. And if at some point in your life you can no longer do it, you don't want to do it. It doesn't work for what you're doing. You can make your resume up and go get a job and be fine. And he's like, yeah, but what about you? You've been doing this for nine years. And I was like, yeah, and I could get a job tomorrow and be okay with that. And I think that's like, we are screwing that up. We're not teaching anyone responsibility anymore.

Andrew Hovelson

I mean, that's the big thing, right? Is that in our coaching, um, with Southwestern Student Coaching, is that you can follow your passion, but. But far more important. Then your passion or following or the suck it up mentality, right? That's the other thing that we're killing our kids with is just suck it up. I don't care if you don't like it, suck it up, suck it up. And the kids are like, oh, I guess I don't even have any room for passion now, and I just have to suck it up and do stuff I hate for the next 50 years. And that gets disorienting, because then they talk to their friends, they go online and they see, well, these guys are all following their passion. My mom, dad, uncle, brothers, sister have been really successful, and what they're telling me to do is suck it up. And so what's in between? Well, what's in between for us is, passion has to become. It has to become the not the toxic positivity self-help. But the executive skills of what is self-talk is the discipline behind choosing the words you say to yourself and believing them. What is the discipline behind how to set a goal and achieve it? I don't care if your goal is I need to go get a job at Taco Bell, or if your goal is I need to start a little dropshipping business or lemonade stand because that's my passion. None of that matters. The outcome does not matter.

Dawn Taylor

It's the skills that you're developing.

Andrew Hovelson

It is the skill set you're developing. It is 120,000,000% the skill set you're developing. And that goes for top performers. We coach Utah Olympians. We coach people from MIT grad school. We coach people that are high schoolers that are headed into Ivy League schools. And we coach a bunch of people that are unmotivated and on drugs and alcohol. Right? What's far more important than any of the results that they get is their ability to seal with challenges and shorten the time in which they forgive themselves. Learn and then go take action again. So a kid that gets his first C or her first C and spins out of control. Spins out of control like their life is over. Because we've told them to suck it up. Right? And you didn't work hard enough if you didn't get the results that you wanted, is the exact same problem as follow your passion and get all F's. But at least you're following your passion. Because it's not teaching the discipline, the skill set and habits and the mindset that they can go do whatever they want. Go be an engineer. Go be a plumber. And if you want to learn how to, you can make a lot of money just being a plumber, not just being a plumber. That's pejorative. Uh, you can make a lot of money being a plumber if you want to make more money, but also have a little more stress. Build yourself a plumbing business. But you're no longer a plumber. You are now a business owner, right? And so don't look at the guy in your hometown that says, just be a plumber and make millions. You have to figure out how to build that plumbing business, and that takes a different set of skills. And we're not telling that to our kids. I'm saying plumbers can make a lot of money seeing social media. People can be millionaires. Right. We're saying, just go play your French horn and you'll be successful. I live in a building. There's a lot of French horn players here. Success is relative. They might be super happy. I don't know if they have the money they need. I have no idea. Right. But I hope that is not too, I hope that's tangible enough. That were really, really, really messing up the future generation, um, by not giving them a path to run on. I always think of this vehicle ability and mindset, right. And I think about that in business more. But how have we been able to translate that to coaching to 320 kids in nine different countries? Right. What is the vehicle in which you're going to learn the skill set or how I talk about it is what is the framework in which you're going to learn the skill set of overcoming adversity, learning how to succeed with good mental health, and being kind to yourself. Now it could be a chess club. It could be the football team, right? It could be learning how to be valedictorian. But, you need a framework in which to learn those things, and the framework doesn't matter. You just have to have a framework and it can't be only 1 or 2 frameworks. Follow your passion or suck it up. Those aren't frameworks.

Dawn Taylor

No, it's interesting. I was talking to some have a lot of nieces and nephews that I have really cool relationships with, and it was probably four years ago that my one nephew was like, oh, I don't want to be an adult. And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, oh no, I'd rather just kill myself. And I was like, oh, hi, can we have a conversation? Like this is extreme. And we did. We've had so many conversations around this and thankfully he's come out of this headspace. But we had a really interesting conversation. He's like, no. He's like, why would I want to become my parents? And I was like, explain, like define that. What do you mean by that? And he goes, well, look, he's like, think about it. He goes and everyone online is talking about this right now. He's like, yeah, my parents have a job and they're doing their thing. But then they complain about it all the time and bitch about it all the time, and they're miserable at the end of the day. And it doesn't matter how hard you work, you never have enough money. And he's like being an adult really looks miserable. Why would I want to do it? And I remember thinking about that, and we spent hours talking about this and how we could shift this and how we could change this. And I said, you know. Because he's like, you're happy in your work. He's like, how did that happen? And I said, you know, a couple things. One is I stepped out of the expectations that people had of me. And I wasn't afraid to fail.

Andrew Hovelson

Yeah.

Dawn Taylor

And I said, I don't know if it's because I had failed so much in my life. I had fallen down so many times in my life that it didn't become scary anymore. Sure. But it was like, yeah, why not? It's not going to fall again. Cool. I know how to get back up. And I think that is a thing that we're not teaching our kids either. Nowadays. Like you can't even fall on a you can't even fall on a playground anymore. I don't know how the state says, but Canada is like, no, no, no, we're gonna make it all foam and we're gonna make it all soft and gentle because we don't want anyone to get bruised. We don't want to get hurt. Right? Like it's gone so far in the opposite direction. It's like we're going to swoop in and rescue you. Anytime there is a problem, anytime there is a discomfort. We don't ever want you to have to face adversity. And I think that our kids need to know that they need to learn how to grieve. They need to learn how to fail. There's consequences for action sometimes. And no, you didn't finish your homework, so you did get in trouble in class. And I'm not going to call your teacher to rescue you. That's just your reality.

Right?

Andrew Hovelson

Yeah. Part of what gets really challenging in parenting. Um, and from the parents that I work with and, you know, parenting myself is that the kids from, you know, about ten years old to maybe 24, 25, have a different idea or definition of what failure is. And while I 1,000,000% believe maybe to a fault, right, that they need more and more and more and more failure and more challenges and more challenges. What we do as parents that we really screw things up on is not acknowledging when they feel like they've had a major failure. Right when there and then. And then giving them the tools. This is the most important part. We all screw up on, is absolutely giving them the tools to recognize, to not discount their failure, but to recognize that next time they can change it. So my eight year old and we're screwing our kids. I mean, I'm gonna screw my kids up, right? But it was like, it was like a valuable lesson. I was like, um, our philosophy in our household is that even in third grade, we're not going to tell you, um, we're going to make sure you get your homework done. Right. Your eight year old brain can remember to do it. But you know what? If you forget that folder on the table, right? Or underneath a chair? That's not our responsibility. It's really not. And what we can help you do is right after you get your homework done, we will remind you the first couple times to put it right in your backpack because that's definitely going with you tomorrow to school. But it's not my job to remind you every single morning because then your pattern is I don't have to think about it right when I get it done because somebody else, mom or dad, it doesn't even matter. You can replace any adult or any brother or sister who will remind me to go on to the next step of my homework, which is actually bringing it to school to turn it in. Okay, long story longer, uh, I'm like, this is amazing. I'm a genius parent. This is like going to my kids who are going to be so successful and whatever they want to be. And, uh, he, you know, my eight year old forgets it, and we're on our way to school and he mass hysteria, he's like, I can't, it's my life is over. I will never, my teacher is going to get so mad and I can never and I get to school and I'm like, all right. And I'm trying to be like, okay, what did we learn? You know, and we'll implant this into your brain. Now, you'll remember it when you're 18 and when you're 38 for bigger challenges to solve. Get to school. And as teachers like what went on and I was like I actually don't know what there's something just besides the homework. And he goes you didn't sign it and I can't, you didn't sign my homework and now I'm not going to get credit for it. And she looks at him or the teacher, she goes, oh that's it. He's like, dude. Get into class. And it was just a breaking of his pattern. And where I kind of look back where I screwed up, is that not I would have never told him to have his homework again. Right. But I could have got down and been like, that really sucks. Do you feel like your life is over? Huh? You know what, it might be, but we're not going to know until we go talk to your teacher.  And I think most parents let's forward ten years and their kids are 18 and they're not turning in their homework. Right. You're saying your kid is a failure or you're talking to your son? Why don't you turn in your homework? You're lazy. Right? Why don't you turn in your homework? You're never going to be able to do anything, right. Why don't you turn in your homework? See, I told you, if you just would have turned it in, your results would have been different. When really what we've missed over the last eight years, from 10 to 18, is all of those little times, those tiny little times where that kid didn't raise his hand in class or he or she had another, that kid, even for the popular kids in school, say you're stupid, right? For them. And they're afraid to take that risk and fail. Um, because of how they're going to be judged. And we didn't catch that stuff early on enough. That's saying life is going to be hard. And, you know, this time that you got that B or you got that B, um, you can get an A next time. But it might not just be hard work. It might be some different things. You might need to go ask your teacher for some help, reason you might need to think through the fact that, excuse my French, but you're not a shitty person. Right. You're just around five kids who make you feel terrible about yourself. That would be hard for me to get in any two. And acknowledge that and then say, you know what? You know what, Billy? Johnny? Rachel? It's not going to help you. To blame them. If you want what's the tools that we need to do in order to get that? And if you don't want the A, fine. Or not, fine. I mean, you know, you choose your parenting style if you don't want the A, fine. Um, but what we need to do here is if you get a D and you feel bad. And part of the reason is that you're having a horrible time at school. What can you do to not have a horrible time at school and the results will speak to themselves?

Dawn Taylor

But I have to wonder, like, not even wonder. It's, we don't create critical thinkers as a society anymore. No, we haven't in so many years. And so we expect our kids. We expect these younger generations to process, to think things through, to try things in a new way, a different way. They don't know how. They actually don't know how because nobody has to fight for an answer anymore. I have 72 spices in a spice store. I love using spices when I cook, and I had a 22 year old in my office that day and they're like, I heard you have a crazy cool spice drawer. And I laughed. And it's beautiful. It's very organized in alphabetical order and laid out beautifully, like it's a masterpiece of artwork. And I said, yeah. And they looked at it and they're like, oh, this is life goals. And they went, you know what? I don't even know how to use those though. And I laughed and I said, I said you know what you do and. And she was like. And I said you just play with them.

Andrew Hovelson

Yep.

Dawn Taylor

And she went, what do you mean? And I said, you can Google how to use spices together. You can Google combinations. You can do that. Is that. Or you can open the lid of one and open the lid of another and hold them both under your nose at the same time and smell it and see what happens. Does it smell amazing, or does it smell nasty because you grabbed like, cinnamon and pickle seasoning or something, right? And it's like, oh, that's really bad. Okay, so put one down and try something else. But we don't live in a world that pushes, “Just try it.” Try it and see what happens. Fail, fail. Have it make something that's disgusting, laugh about it, and then try again tomorrow. We don't live in that world anymore. Where it's like, no, if that is making you that miserable, if it's that gross, it's okay to throw it out. It's okay to quit. It's okay to walk away from something. I mean, there's a fine line. There's a fine line of like, no, it doesn't make me happy because you're not actually learning a skill set in that of, like, sometimes there has to be a little bit of like. No, you need to face some discomfort.

Andrew Hovelson

I mean, my theory on this. Right. But whether it's right or wrong, I'm a, you know, I'm still I'm still young enough that people listening to this will be like, man, that guy doesn't know anything, and I'm okay with that. But my theory on this is that, pre-social media pre-pandemic and even pre, you know, probably ten years ago, the rise of the, um, of the idol worshiping of entrepreneurship. I'm an entrepreneur. Right. So, but the rise of entrepreneurship is that the failures often would happen outside of your occupation. So they gave you the safety and framework in which to like to go date someone new. And then you got to be like on and like that. And then you would just tell them on Saturday morning, I didn't have a good time on Friday night, so we're not going to date anymore. And that would be okay, because Monday morning you had some stability of going back to your job. Right? Or maybe I want to be a woodworker. And then you put up the shelf in your house. Nobody knows that you put up the shelf in your house. You just decided after your, you know, your job as a middle manager at Target Corporation that you wanted to be a woodworker. So you put up the shelf in your house in Minnesota and then you put, you know, the nice china on it. And a week later the shelf fell over and you were like, oh, dang. Number one, I didn't enjoy putting up that shelf. And number two, I really suck at it. I don't want to get any better at that. But you know what? I still get to go back to my job on Monday or Tuesday.

Dawn Taylor

Still have that safety, that security, that paycheck.

Andrew Hovelson

Exactly. But now the failure and the trying and the, you know, the challenges are wrapped up in. If I don't succeed now, I can have the outsized returns and therefore I have nothing tomorrow. And I hope that makes sense. But there has to be as your, you know, as you're a kid, you're it's a lot like an entrepreneur from 10 to 25. You have to try things, make mistakes, try things, make mistakes, try things, make mistakes, try things, make mistakes and how to school. However, when anyone feels about the school system right, my kids go to public schools. So that's where I'm coming from. But we coach unschooled kids, home schooled kids, uh, public private charter school kids. So I'm a fan of all of it, right. The one thing about education across all of those barriers,  it is a consistent it's a constant of getting slightly better every single day. And so it gives a framework in which kids can fail. And succeed. What they don't realize is part of there terror that we are screwing them up with as adults, right? This has never been part of my narrative, but many adults who say, Hey, you need to do x, y, and z. The framework of their narrative is when they were 18 or 22, they did the same thing. They're in the same job, right? They had the consistency in which to bounce against. Right. And kids are terrified of what happens when I graduate and I'm 18. I don't have that consistency.

Dawn Taylor

Oh, it's so hard. It is so hard on kids right now. And we haven't, we haven't been taught like. 1s I was talking to a friend the other day and. And she's like, I don't know, Don. I don't know when we're talking about business stuff. And and I said, you know what's amazing, and I said, you've really just lived like 12 years as an adult. That's right. What do you mean? And I said, well, 0 to 20 is kind of like your formative years. For easy math, I was like, those are your formative years where it's like, you're in school, you have parents making sure you're fed and you have clothes and you have food on the table, hopefully, and all these things. Right. And so those are your formative years. I said, so you've really only lived from 20 to 30.  And I said, and at this point, the fact that you're unhappy with where you're at or you're worried about your future or all of these things, I said. You still have 30 to 40, 40 to 50, 50 to 60, 60 to 70, 70 to 80, 80 to 90, 90 to 100. Because of modern medicine we are living healthy into our hundreds. Mhm. Yes, you may have screwed up one life that ten years real hard. I was like, you have seven more.

You have seven more of those. Think about that for a second. And she was like, huh? And I said, so you could screw up like another five and still have two good ones. I said, but you're not a tree. Move. In the words of I think it's like Charles Duhigg that says that, right? And it's like, you can shift, you can change, you can adjust, you can pivot, you can do all of those things. And I know so many business owners that have shut down companies in the last couple of years and just been like, no, I want a job. Like I want someone else to worry about the clients coming in the door. I want someone else to have to pay the insurance and someone else to carry the stress, and someone else to manage HR and someone else to do all those things. I just, I just want a job.

Andrew Hovelson

Yes, I want to. And I am seeing this 5:00 so often right now. I want to go to happy hour. If I partake in that on Saturday morning, I want to get up and go to a runner's group. You know, on Tuesday afternoon I either want to go to I want to go to Bible study or I want to play, you know, I want to play rec basketball and I don't care if it doesn't make me millions tomorrow. You know, one of the, here's something that I really think about often. And I'm not sure how we solve this, but Gary Vee, however anyone feels about him, right? He's loud. He's been.

Dawn Taylor

He's a love it or hate it guy.

Andrew Hovelson

20 year olds. Gen Zs are not lazy. They're not lazy. They have options. And I agree with that. And what I think people are seeing when they see lazy is that those adults that are saying they're lazy don't remember options. They don't remember options when they were 18, 19, 20. They said they don't remember. They say I didn't really have any options. I was going to work in the family farm or, you know, my dad was running a Northwestern Mutual insurance business.

Dawn Taylor

So I had to step into the family business.

Andrew Hovelson

Yeah. Or my mom was in sales, right. Or HR. And so I just did that. I didn't have any options. And then they translate that. And so I went to work. Right. That's what those adults. So I went to work and something that I maybe didn't exactly love, but I just went to work. And they're translating that to an 1819, 20, 22 year old who has options there saying you're lazy and where we've failed as parents. Is to help them critically think about which option to take at any given moment, and then be okay with the consequences. Maybe it succeeds, maybe it fails. And, um, and we'll help guide you as elders in this tribe of homo sapiens to, uh, to really the next phase if it doesn't work out. You know, the best thing that any young person could ever do is go try a bunch of businesses. Have them fail. Go work at a bunch of startups and get laid off. Right?

Two things can be true that the best thing somebody could ever do is when you're 22, start a financial practice for the next four years and just do it and just do it. And if you like golf, close a lot of deals on the golf course. You know and retire with money if that's what you want. And build your family and be home at night. And all those things can be true at the same time. We've just had a huge gaping hole in our ability as parents and as elders in this tribe of humans. Help people to help young people understand. What goes into their decision making? And so because we don't understand that and we're not evolved enough, um, as adults to understand how to help them think about their way of thinking, we call them lazy. That's it. We call them lazy, and we're screwing them up. We're screwing them up because they've heard that they're lazy from 15 to 25. And it's just not true. It's not true. You know, go to college. Great. I've gone to seven years of higher education. I believe in college. Right. But go to college and they say, great, are you going to pay for college? And then you say, well, I haven't been able to do that because of the economy the last 20 years and the higher education costs. And they're like, okay, so why should I like - Did you graduate college with debt? Well, yeah, I did. How much was it? It was 20, 20 grand in debt and I worked my tail off and they're like, well, I could-

Dawn Taylor

Why would I want to do that?

Andrew Hovelson

They're thinking, why would I want to do that? And they're all thinking. They're also thinking I could pay off 20 grand in debt, but I'm not stupid. I could also graduate with $200,000 in debt. Like, you're not comparing apples to apples. They're asking, no, you have enough money saved for me, mom and dad. Well, I don't, so. Good luck. They're like, so stop, stop! Help! Help me! They're begging for some help on some critical decision making skills and tools that they can put into their tool rather than judgment about, uh, the habits that they have.

Dawn Taylor

You know my nephew a few years ago, and I'm so freaking proud of him for this. We were talking and we were driving. We went for a drive and he's like, I don't know what to do. Like, I hate school. I don't know what to do when I graduate, like help. And so we're driving around and I started just pointing out jobs. And I was like, we're driving down the street. And I said, okay. I said, here's part of it. If I say we're not taught what our options even are after high school, we're not taught this. And I said, what careers do you know of? What jobs do you know of? And he listed, like aunts, uncles, parents. And like, maybe like the teacher, the lawyer or the doctor, you know, like you're basic 5 or 6 that a teenager even knows about. And I said, okay. So I pulled over on the side of a street in a residential area and I said, okay, that bench right there, somebody was the graphic designer that created the ad that went on it. Somebody does the wrapping that actually created the signage that put it on there. Somebody else works for the city that maintains it. And he's like, oh! And I said, now let's look at the house. I said, you have the landscape or you have the landscape architect. You have the contractor, the builds that you have, the plumber, the drywall or the mud or like. And I started to like. list off just like all the different kinds of careers. Just sitting right there in front of someone's house in a residential neighborhood. And I said, this is what you don't understand. I said, there's 10,000 or more, 100,000 whatever types of jobs you could have. When you start asking people what their careers are or what their parents did, you're like, that's a job. Like, who does that, right? There's all these. like, crazy careers out there. And I said, so instead of thinking about what you want to do, what is the lifestyle you want to have? And he was like, what do you mean? And I said, do you want the same lifestyle as your parents or an uncle that you know, or of us? Or do you want to be able to buy a pair of shoes a month? Do you want to go on trips? What kind of house do you want to live in? And we started talking about these things, and then we went to a restaurant that had, um, like the kraft paper on the tables to draw on for kids. We sort of mapping it out, and I was like, okay, this is the kind of cost it's going to be for a mortgage for a house like that or rent. This is the kind of cost it's going to take for you to travel. Okay. So, now whatever income you make, you're like, all your taxes are coming off of that because we live in a place of high taxes. Canada. And I said, so this is the kind of money you're going to have to make. To have the lifestyle that you desire to have in your future. And he went, oh, is it okay, so now let's break down what kind of jobs you could do. I said, but then let's also look at do you want a job that just pays you a set amount? There's a natural ladder climb? Or do you want a job where your, like, action is equal how much you're going to get paid. Yeah, because those are two very different things. And I said, do you want, like, way more time at home with your family? Do you want way more time? Like do you want the hustle of the work? I said, these are the things that I think we need to be talking to our kids about. And so he was like, no, I like this, and I like this, and I like this. And we started having these conversations and I said, okay, so now what skill sets do you need to have to thrive in that industry if you're going to be in sales and dealing with people? I said, here's what you need to know. You need to know teamwork. You need to know customer service. You know how to manage difficult people. You need to know how to schmooze and talk to people. You need to know how to pick up a phone call you need. Right. And I said, so where can you learn those skills? And then we started mapping that out and I was like, you need to get a job at a restaurant. And he's like, what? And we were sitting in Boston Pizza and I was like, apply for a job here. And he goes seriously? And I was like, look around. I said, you're going to have to learn how to deal with hustle. You're going to have to learn how to deal with it when you're tired. You have to push through. You're going to have to learn how to deal with the person who screams at you, because there's lettuce in the salad that they ordered and you're like, are you for real, moron? You order this right? I was like, you have to learn all those things. Like, those are all skill sets you can develop. I said, now you tell the boss you're willing to learn anything in any role. I said, and then what you're going to do is I said, you're going to I said, this is my recommendation. You now go and you show up in a decent outfit. I said to every single real estate office in this city and you ask if you can volunteer. And just learn. And you will gift them a couple hours of your time of day to just learn that. Here's the thing, his passion is in real estate. But he is still, he is killing it in his first year or first two years of real estate compared to most people in the industry. If you look at the average over across Canada, he's killing it with his numbers. But guess what? Even killing it with your numbers, he still needs a job to pay his day to day bills.

Andrew Hovelson

Course he does. Of course he does.

Dawn Taylor

Yes, because he has to build this. He has to build it. And he's young and he's still all these things. And I was like, at no point does that make you a failure. At no point does that make you less than. At no point does that devalue you. I was like, if you need a part time job on the side for the first five years while you build this, rock on, and you're going to be way less stressed out than anybody else who's like, but no, I hung my shingle and now I have a business card and business will start flowing.

Andrew Hovelson

It's, you know, it's two things, right? The, the. A huge mantra in the personal development field is success leaves clues. We've all heard it over and over and over and over and over and over. All right. We, you know, if we're talking about the kids and parents and, you know, aunts and uncles, what you did, there was a great service that you gave them way more clues than can just be found on a pamphlet. Right. Success leaves clues, as in. Hey, do you have a significant other that you want to be with? Right? Well guess what. Your hours are going to be 14 to 16 hours a day. And also, the part of the success is you need to get her on board with that. We've all heard that right. Let's say, you know a young person. Let's say they're a young mom or a young dad that happened accidentally or not, accidentally or success leaves clues. Just follow my passion or just go grind like you're your nephew in the real estate space. Well, who's going to take care of those kids? How are you going to keep the roof over your head? Part of the clues that you need to do is then you need to go model young people that have kids and who took care of the kids. Do you have parents there that allow you then to go work hard? Do you have a second job? What are you juggling? Right. So the success leaves clues. And then the other thing that that translates to, I talk a lot about in my coaching is, is the juice worth the squeeze?

Because you know what? I'd love to I. love to sell the dream. I think you can do whatever you want. As long as you put your mind to it. And you get around the right people and you, and you have the right self-talk, right? The squeeze is there. Or sorry, the juice is there. But is the squeeze worth it? Yeah, right. If you don't want to read a ton of books and put a lot of things into action, don't be in the self-development space. Yeah, right. Is the squeeze there? If you want to be a doctor. Right. But you don't like sciences. And your parents are doctors. Don't

go. What are you doing? Don't do it. My business partner has it. He's got like. It's such a funny story. It's endearing every time he tells it. His parents were famous opera singers in Germany. Okay, so well-respected careers. German opera singers are paid by the government quite a bit, and they have really good standard of living. Okay. And he tells a story about. He was in seventh or eighth grade sometime, and his mom was like, you know, what are you going to do for your job? Or maybe he was eating at 1112. It doesn't really matter. And he's like, well, I'm I'm an opera singer. And she goes, she goes, Adam. You don't show up on time to your voice lessons. You don't sing in the choirs. You don't warm up every day, right? You scream on the playground with your buddies. Like misuse of your voice.

Dawn Taylor

She's like, all the things you should not be doing.

Andrew Hovelson

I appreciate that because I'm your mother. But you don't want to be an opera singer because the squeeze is not something that is enjoyable to get the juice.

Dawn Taylor

Mhm. I love that. I love that so much. And I think these are the conversations we need to be having with kids. We need to be having these with teenagers, with youth. And really look at like, what are the skills that they need? What are the tools that they need to have? What are the. character traits that they need to have to be successful in anything and everything that they do.

Andrew Hovelson

Here's one of the here's a big tip for any parent that is listening or aunt or uncle that's listening. Okay. Students 18, 16 to 25. are getting stories inputted into their brain. Most of the time it's from Google and social media. A lot of the time. It also comes from parents or family members. Okay. One of the biggest, biggest, biggest benefits you can give your kids is to tell the stories right of what happened to you when they were your age. Now here's the key. We all have heard when I was your age, I did this when x, y and z. You cannot present it like that. Think of it as presenting them with a Google search or a menu. Here are the actions that I took. Here were the results. You go and figure out how you feel about it. Not when I was your age, I was grinding and you're not grinding, so you're not going to be successful. It's hey, you know, when I was your age or when I was not even your age, when I was in 10th grade, right? What happened to me is that we were in a really small town. Okay. And I could play all the sports. I could do all the arts. Right. And I realized that my friends were actually much better athletes than I. And I had to start this process of what was my identity? And when I was a junior in high school, I had to leave our subsection basketball game to go to an audition for college. That was a really, really big deal for me. Okay because I had to say no to something else. Yeah. Right now, young Billy. Bobby. Johnny. You don't have to do that. But do you have any questions about that? Because that was my experience of a high score. And then you follow that up with “Do you have any questions about that?” Right. And then you share. What's your experience right now? Because they actually might be much more aligned with you as parents. They just might have a different framework that they're seeing their experience through. And it might be socially, it might be an extracurricular club. It might be a teacher that they're like, I don't even like social studies. I love math, but this social studies teacher gets me going every day. But you have to ask. You have to share stories. So, let me be really clear. I can get on a rant. You share stories with them of your time when it was their age with zero judgment of what their time should be. Right? Ask them if they have any questions about the story, the menu that you've laid out. Right. And then number three is. What's your experience in life? What can you relate to? What can you not relate to? And then shut up. Shut up.

Dawn Taylor

Thank you. Sweet Jesus. Shut up! They know you're successful. They can see that you guys go on more vacations than their friends, right? They know that you work until midnight and that you've missed some games, right? And that there's no judgment in that. They know that, you don't have to retell them, that that's what it takes in order to be you. Shut up. And shut up.

Dawn Taylor

I love that. Just shut up. One of, the only thing I would add to that is. I've often talked to our nieces and nephews and the kids in my life about where we thought we were going to be when we were 15 and 16 and 17 and 18 and 22 and 25 and 30. And where we've ended up and how different those are and how at different points along that path. This is something that my husband and I do at least once a year. As we sit down, we should do it on our anniversary. And we talk about like, hey, when we started dating, and for us, like I'm talking like 1996, like it's a long time ago. And it was like when we started dating, where did we think we'd be? What was our future? What were our goals? What were our dreams? So, what do we think we were going to be after high school? What do we think we'd go to school for, training for? And then what do we actually do? And all the million pivots along those years to be like, hey. If this one doesn't work, or if you think this is your giant goal, in your dream. It could change 5000 times between now and when you are old. And that is beautiful. And that is totally okay because some people my husband made a comment yesterday or two days ago. He's like, I swear God put me on this earth to hold your feet to the ground.

Andrew Hovelson

Sure.

Dawn Taylor

He's like, I literally think that is my job in this world is to hold your feet solid on the ground. And I laughed. But if you know me, my personal life is like, yeah, that sums me up. And I was, but I was always the kid where, like my brother and sister, chose a career. They did it right out of high school and they're still doing it to this day. My dad did the same. Like that was just my life.  My aunts and uncles, my cousins, like everybody, they've all had one singular career and have not ever deviated from that plan.

Andrew Hovelson

I find that, uh, extremely envious. I am envious of that, of them.

Dawn Taylor

Well, and I have that sometimes I have that. But I also think if you're not that person, like, I wish I had had someone in my life that was like, it's okay if you don't have a ten year goal. It is okay if you change careers at some point. It is okay if you think you're going to go right and you end up going left, all of that is actually okay. Because that's one thing that has always caused this weird feeling of like, I don't fit in in my world. Because I've shifted so many times, but that's what makes me, me.

Andrew Hovelson

Yeah.

Dawn Taylor

And so I think that that's part of it too, is like, talk about those things with kids, those conversations that I have with my nieces and nephews. Are so interesting and so valuable when we have those conversations of like, you know what? That's amazing. And I love that for you. But at the same time, hey, guess what? Sometimes that plan will not go according to plan. Sometimes it's going to totally fall apart. Sometimes you're going to make a really silly decision. And somehow you're going to actually make it out the other side and you're going to learn so much from it, and then you're going to thrive in something else. And that's okay. And you know what? That one might suck too. But then there's another one. And sometimes that's totally normal and okay. And I think we need to teach our kids that. We need to teach them that, that it's like, no, you might hate this job. This might not be the thing for you. I hated working at a clothing store in high school because I was like, no, that dress looks really awful on you. Try a bigger size or try something different. Like it didn't match my personality. But I loved working like a service desk at Zellers because I like the sassiness of it, and I liked the people that came in and yelled over Pokemon bedding, and I thought it was hilarious that I was the one who had to call the cops, and someone was stealing jeans and running out the front door. And, you know, like, that matched my personality in a totally different world.

Andrew Hovelson

Absolutely. Love bartending here in New York City. I loved it, I got to watch sports. I got to talk with people who loved to watch sports. I got to do my version of manual labor on high volume sports bar. You do not stop at 12 hours.

Dawn Taylor

Oh, not at all.

Andrew Hovelson

People are like, why don't you run a restaurant? And I would be like, there is nothing I would love to do less than do what my bosses and their bosses had to do. That sounds absolutely miserable, when what? The outside world, you know, find yourself in the story, what the outside world thinks and what kids think about their parents is, oh, you love to bartend, so you should be in the restaurant industry.

Dawn Taylor

No, no, I really like to bartend.

Andrew Hovelson

Yeah. That's it. It was great. I got to go home at the end of the night where they were freaking out about the electricity, and I said, hey, your ice machine doesn't work. I'll be back in time for brunch. I see you later.

Dawn Taylor

Oh, it's so true. I even now I've had friends that own stores and restaurants and different things  and I, I'll go and help.Like if someone's like, I'm like, I'll come on a till, like, I love that. Like, I often joke about that I'm going to be the 70 year old, like running a cash register somewhere and doing that because I'm like, why not? It's awesome. Like that's something I actually genuinely enjoyed.

Andrew Hovelson

Yep.

Dawn Taylor

And I think, yeah, I think we need to look at our kids a little bit different. Andrew thank you, thank you, thank you for letting me take up so much of your time today.

Andrew Hovelson

Thanks. This was fun, having me. Thanks for having me. I could talk about this stuff for hours and hours and, uh, the beauty, the beauty dawn of anyone that's listening. I said this at the beginning is the jury, and the verdict is still out. Because I have a 12, eight, and a four year old, and we'll see how badly I screw them up, and then we'll come back and we can, we can roll this.

Dawn Taylor

We can record this again. Life lessons. Yeah. My new life lessons abundantly. So totally for anyone looking to connect with Andrew and the amazing work he's doing with you, you can totally check out our show notes located at the Tailor Waka for all of his contact information and how to get ahold of him. Thank you again for hanging out with us and for the listeners for staying tuned in for this whole thing. And also, we'd love to hear what part of this really shifted you, triggered you, or made you think different about how your parenting or how you are behaving or acting as an uncle grandparent, whatever role you have in someone's life.

Subscribe now on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen to your podcast. And if you love the show, leave a reading or a review and your I can't wait for our next coffee.