Structure is not the devil!
Structure is not the devil. I promise. Have you ever wondered why we are so scared of structure? I have always hated being told what to do. I know I know. Surprise surprise!! I can now fully see that this is a response to my childhood and the life I have lived. This doesn't change the fact that I find structure incredibly hard. Habits to me feel like a cage. A little tiny cage that I have been locked in and don’t have to key to get out.
Years ago I started to look at this behavior in my life and wonder about where it was from and how it was serving me. I often say in coaching "no judgement just curiosity" and while it can be hard to do, it is such a powerful shift in how we look at things. What I realized in my curiosity is that the structure I was so terrified of was attached to feelings of being controlled, not having options, and feeling trapped. The fact that it was attached to people outside of me was also interesting. It was their expectations of me and their judgements that were causing it. Once I was able to acknowledge this and recognize the fears for what they were it was very empowering. To realize that I could add structure to my life without those emotions showing up.
So what did I shift? I found ways to add structure to all areas of my life that laid the foundation for opportunity.
1. I picked a few areas of my life where I could add structure that would actually SUPPORT my life and my dreams. Little things. Ex. fuel up my car every Sunday, wash my bedding every Sunday, drink the exact coffee every morning, get dressed in a specific way every day, and organize my closet in a way that makes more sense (not by style or item but by when I wear them ex. networking, casual, work, travel etc).
2. Gave myself grace and understanding that I will probably never be the person who has a HUGE structured routine in my life. I just don't like it. And that is OK.
3. Looked at the areas of my life that were feeling out of control or chaotic and found ways to add structure to them to make them feel calmer which in turn makes me feel safer!
In the spirit of curiosity, what are some areas of your life where you could use some structure? How would your life change if you embraced structure as a positive not a negative?
