5 Reasons It is SO HARD to Release Our Trauma

May can be an interesting month in my head and heart. My best friend of 30 years walked away 12 years ago! Happy birthday Dad. My parent's wedding anniversary. My wedding anniversary. My husband's birthday!! So many emotions that sometimes I feel like I am on a roller coaster. While this month holds so much good: see the picture below!! It also is a month of tears and sadness. Let's dive in. According to the Oxford Dictionary: ● Love: an intense feeling of deep affection. ● Hate: intense or passionate dislike. 2 very different but connected feelings!!! So what makes us feel like we are only allowed to feel one and not the other? Or that they are not connected in some way. Let's talk about something real: the love-hate relationship many of us have with our parents. It's like riding an emotional rollercoaster, with ups of affection and downs of frustration. It's messy, it's complicated, but it's oh-so-human. What makes it even harder? When they are no longer in your life. Ever felt a rush of warmth towards your mom or dad, only to be followed by a wave of irritation? That's the love-hate cocktail at work. Maybe it's because of old stuff from childhood, clashes in personalities, or just because they did something that really hurt you. Whatever the reason, it's normal. Although they did their best with the skills they had, it does not negate the impact that the relationship had on you. Navigating these conflicting feelings can be tough. On one hand, there's that deep-rooted love and longing for connection. On the other, the anger and resentment is bubbling up. It's like having a tug-of-war inside your heart, and it can mess with your head big time. This rollercoaster ride isn't just thrilling; it can also mess with your mental health. Bottling up your emotions can lead to anxiety and depression while letting them out might bring on a heap of guilt. It's a fine line to walk, and it can take a toll on your well-being. You HAVE TO FEEL THE FEELS!!!! Even if they are uncomfortable. So, how do you navigate this emotional minefield? First off, give yourself a break. It's okay to feel conflicted. Talking it out with a friend or therapist can help you untangle your feelings and figure out your next steps. Setting boundaries and managing expectations can also keep the peace and protect your sanity. We also need to learn how to grieve. How to process emotions. How to release the hurt and embrace the good. One thing I did? I re-did a childhood album with just the good photos and memories. I have also raged about the hurt! We have to process them both. Loving and hating your parents at the same time is messy, but it's also part of being human. Embrace the ups and downs, lean into your feelings (all of them!!!), and remember that you're not alone on this rollercoaster ride. With a little guidance, some grace (more for yourself than anyone!) and maybe a rage room, you too can get through this grieving of what could/should have been and settle into the new normal of your relationship.

Picture this: Your daily routine is like a quirky therapy session with yourself. Are you giving yourself a pep talk, or is your inner voice more of a strict librarian shushing you?

I miss her. But not her. My mom and I had a HARD relationship for the majority of our time together. When she passed away unexpectedly in 2008 I grieved and I grieved hard but there was a lot of anger and hurt mixed in with sadness. There would be no closure. I wouldn't get the answers I needed and wanted. I would never be able to have that last fight I wanted to have!!! The funny thing? Life and business are no different. One thing I have come to understand is life is unpredictable. Health issues shifted things, moving shifted things, family shifted things and life, in general, has been the biggest shift creator of all. So what do I do to manage all of the change that occurs, I make sure to grieve the possibilities. Because we attach meaning to things, we attach stories to things not only in the present but in the future! We plan, we execute and already have a vision in our head of how it MAY turn out and when it does we are ecstatic but what about when it doesn't…we need to grieve. Every day I talk to business owners and friends who are having to change something in their business or lives. Either a relationship, where they live, their spending, or the entire focus of their business and the hardest part is letting go of what we believe should have been. I challenge you this year, to start to release the "you" from your business. Your business is not you. You are not your business. Your worth is not determined by it and therefore the outcome. Our business should not destroy us or make us!! If you this makes you uncomfortable, I recommend you take a deeper look into your business/personal relationship and start the process of letting go. Find things outside of them to fulfill you. To make you feel whole. Grieve what could have been. Cry, scream, stomp your feet and then let time heal the bruises. But don't allow that dream to hold you hostage in your future and be unable to move forward. Dawn Taylor

My Answers…What are Yours? Reflection is an incredible way to revisit the year. I invite you to ask yourself these questions and answer them as it pertains to your business and personal life. What were my biggest wins this year that brought a smile to my face? ● Business : To not trust people so easily! I dealt with some hard lessons in this area this year. ● Personal : I am more than my story. While I truly believed I would be gone by now there is so much more to life and future dreams are slowly starting What life lessons did I pick up along the way? ● Business : To not trust people so easily! I dealt with some hard lessons in this area this year. ● Personal : I am more than my story. While I truly believed I would be gone by now there is so much more to life and future dreams are slowly starting Who are the new folks who joined my journey, leaving their mark on my life? ● Business : New marketing company, new website building team, 2 new team members in-house and so many collaborators and business friends!! ● Personal : Some amazing new mentors and friends all around the globe. I have started connecting in a different way with people this year In the daily tug-of-war, which challenge really tested my mettle? ● Business : My health! (I am fine!! Just a thyroid disease) It has slowed me down more than I had hoped ● Personal : My capacity is also based on the above! It has caused some struggles with friendships this year. That has been hard When did I feel a wave of sadness wash over me? ● Business : An unmet goal that was MANY years in the making. Time to shift… ● Personal : Watching my nieces and nephews grow. I have been grieving what was but also really working on what can be in these relationships moving forward. This has brought sadness but also excitement What battles did I reluctantly let go of? ● Business : See the project above! And social media…. I am calmly doing it now with no expectations ● Personal : Realizing that there is no way to push through the thyroid stuff . No amount of IVs or supplements will magically heal it. I need the downtime Where did I stumble upon valuable knowledge? ● Business : Masterminds that I have been going to, relationships outside of my normal networking ● Personal : Long road trips by myself!! No music, no podcasts, no phone calls. Just time alone with my thoughts What cool places did I explore? ● Business: Group coaching!! Masterminds with other business owners ● Personal : I finally lived in New York!!! I have dreamt for years of doing that and I had the opportunity this year to do that for 3 weeks. It was magical. I want to do it again. What new skills did I acquire? ● Business : SO many tech things!!! But also more trauma training, grief training and more. I love learning! ● Personal : Gardening! I learned a few new things. I also have had an amazing year of using my new smoker and learning how much I adore brisket…. How did I spend my time, and did it align with what truly mattered to me? ● Business : It did!! I can proudly say that this year ● Personal : 50%. I watched WAY too much Netflix and napping this year. While some of it was needed I also did not have one fire in my backyard, I did not spend enough time with friends this year. I have some changes to make next year!! Did I take good care of my body and mind? ● Business : YES! I love growth and this was a good year for it. ● Personal : Again 50%. I did amazing in so many ways but will shift a few things for next year What did I keep procrastinating on? ● Business : Writing my next book…… ● Personal : Painting some spots in my house Literal spots. The size of a dime. I really should do it. I also left a drawer with spilled coconut oil in it for almost a year before I cleaned it up! I just dealt with the chaos of it Did fear hold me back from anything? ● Business : Launching the group coaching earlier in the year. I don’t know why I was so scared! ● Personal : Saying no and walking away from some toxic relationships. They are gone now but it took WAY too long Did I manage to conquer any of my fears? ● Business : I launched the hard things!!! I made some massive shifts in my business this year and it has been so scary but I am so proud of it ● Personal : I did!! I am no longer living in the space of being scared of “d” day. I am no longer scared to die When did self-doubt creep in? ● Business : Launching programs and meeting new people ● Personal : I struggled this year with trusting my body. Will it get sick again if I do something cool? Will it crash? I have been working through this Did I love my job? ● Business : YES!!! 100% yes. ● Personal : See above When did I feel most alive? ● Business : Travelling to see clients and to network ● Personal : Spending more time with my husband with his job shift! What doors did I close, what stories did I finish, and what people did I say goodbye to? ● Business : Big dreams from the past and acknowledging that I don’t have the capacity anymore to do ALL the things I have wanted to do!! This is not a bad shift but a massive shift ● Personal : Grieving our dog, toxic relationships I allowed to go on for too long Which new door did I open? ● Business : New networking, new programs, new staff. It has been a big year!! ● Personal : New friendships and more travel Did I kick bad habits and embrace good ones? ● Business : Laziness!! I have struggled to DO the work on my business this last year and I got that under control this year ● Personal : Cooking! I have embraced not cooking as often but cooking a larger meal each time What doors closed, which fears were conquered, and what valuable lessons await your reflection? ...

As a military wife to a retired Combat Engineer and a mother to two daughters, a son-in-law, and a nephew, all proudly serving in the Royal Canadian Navy, Remembrance Day holds a special place in my heart. It's a day that goes far beyond the traditional ceremonies and poppies; it's a day that reminds me of the sacrifices our family and others have made and continues to make in service to our country. For years, I stood by my husband's side as he faced the challenges and dangers of military life. I witnessed his unwavering dedication to his duties and the unspoken burden he carried. I also watched our daughters grow, following in their father's footsteps, and forging their own paths in the Navy. Their service is a testament to the values we hold dear as a military family: duty, honour, and sacrifice. Remembrance Day allows us to reflect on the sacrifices made by countless men and women, including our family members, who have served and continue to serve. It's a day to remember the comrades lost and the families forever changed. It's a day to honour the courage and commitment that unites us all, from soldiers on the front lines to the families supporting them from home. As we wear our poppies and gather at memorials, we are reminded that the freedom and peace we enjoy come at a cost. Remembrance Day is a time to honour that cost and to thank those who have given so much. It's a day when we come together as a nation to say, "We will never forget." I will never forget, Jenny Ryce